Oh Brother!
by Ultrawoman
Summary: COMPLETE Fantasy AU 'You're gonna think I'm lucky when I tell you that the guy I like would be perfect for me...except we grew up believing we were brother and sister...'
1. Prologue Seriously Sisters 1998

****

A/N : Okay, I've been playing around with this idea for a while and I finally think I have a plan that will work. I realise that I'm just proving my craziness by trying to write 3 fics at once but, well, sometimes you just have to go where the inspiration takes you, right? This is a little different to my other fics, but I think it could work out...hope you all like this, reviews are very welcome. 

Title : Oh Brother  
Author : Ultrawoman  
Rating : PG-13  
Category : Fantasy/General  
Pairings : Giles/Jenny, Joyce/Hank, Giles/Joyce, Buffy/Spike, and others later  
Summary : "You're going to think I'm lucky when I tell you that my parents love the guy that I want to be with, and he would be perfect for me...if it weren't for the fact we grew up believing we were brother and sister..." [A story covering almost 25 years - containing G/Je, Jo/H, G/Jo, B/S, and possibly others later]  
Disclaimer : Characters belong to the wonderful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.   


Chapter 1 (Prologue) : Seriously Sisters - 1998

I'll bet you think you're life is complicated, right? And the chances are if you're a teenage girl like me, you either like some guy who's totally unsuitable for you, completely unobtainable or someone who your parents really hate. Am I right so far? Well, let me tell you this, you're going to think I'm lucky when I tell you that my parents love the guy that I want to be with, and he would be perfect for me, if it weren't for the fact we grew up believing we were brother and sister...

When the new boy started at school, the Giles' girls were the first to greet him. They were those annoyingly friendly children, always willing to help and be kind to everyone, no matter what. They were both always told how pretty they were and of course they liked to believe it, but they looked completely different. Xander noticed this, as these two twelve year old girls introduced themselves as Buffy and Willow Giles. Their drastically different looks led to his question...

"How can you be sisters? You don't look alike at all?" Xander frowned, and the frown only deepened when he received an answer.

"We _are_ sisters" Buffy assured him as Willow giggled "it's just, we have completely different parents" off his look she explained, "It's kind of a long story..."

And I wasn't lying! It was a very long story back then and it's gotten even longer and way more complicated since, so I guess I should get started...

__

To Be Continued...

****

A/N 2 : Next little chapter is already up...


	2. Back In The Day 1980

Chapter 2 : Back In The Day - 1980

My story actually starts way before I was born, well, six years before anyway. I want to take you back to the first year of the eighties, the year they made the movie Footloose, when Blondie and Olivia Newton-John still made the top ten in the pop charts, and back when it was the senior year of college for four people that are very important in this story, and in my life...

"Cheers" said the four young people, as their glasses clinked together, two couples all so happy to be at this table with their friends. Pooling together all the money they could spare as lowly students, they'd managed to afford a half decent restaurant for their celebrations, and what a celebration it was.

Rupert Giles had lived next door to Hank Summers since he was nine years old. The two had been best friends for years, and the same could be said for Joyce Potter and Jenny Calendar. The guys and girls had met in high school. The first to meet had been Joyce and Giles, his bad boy image and nickname of Ripper immediately attracting her to his appearance, his sexy British accent only added to his allure. The young blonde was smitten, but so was her brunette friend and despite his attraction to both of them, Ripper was forced to choose between Jenny and Joyce.

Knowing that Hank had a crush on Joyce from the first moment he saw her, Giles asked out Jenny and the brunette was thrilled. Her blonde friend was a little disappointed and the man she really wanted had to admit he'd have liked to have got to know both girls better and made a decision between the two but Jenny was the one he dated, knowing Joyce would be a nice girl for Hank, who despite his attempts to have a rep like Rippers, he was just too soft for the role.

The two couples started to date, the foursome became great friends, all going onto college together with a bond they knew would never break. The connection between them was so strong that purely by coincidence they had got engaged on the same weekend and they were now celebrating their happy news together in the best eating place they could afford.

"Can you believe all that's happened in the past few years?" Joyce smiled as she sipped her champagne-substitute, "I mean, when we all met in high school things were so different...now Hank and I are engaged, so are you two, and we graduate in a few months...I'm so happy we're all still friends" she ended, the alcohol she wasn't used to flying straight to her head and making her emotional.

"Oh God, she's going to start crying in a minute" Giles complained good-naturedly, "someone get that bloody glass out of her hand"

"Leave her alone Rupert" his fiancée warned, using his real first name simply to annoy him, "I think she's right" Jenny nodded, "It's great that we're still friends"

"And we always will be" Hank raised his glass again and encouraged his friends to do the same, "Not just in marriage, but as friends, we'll be together til death do us part" he laughed a little at his own words, far too sentimental for such a man, but he did mean them. The four glasses clinked together again, an agreement that would not be broken.

"Cheers"

Sound like they were all pretty happy, doesn't it? Well, they were and things could only get better, right? At first that was true...

_To Be Continued..._

****

A/N : Please let me know if this sounds like it's gonna be okay or if it sucks, I'd like to know now cos if you don't like it I'll just give up and concentrate on my other fics...


	3. Our Day 1980

****

A/N : Another little chapter of this fic which is more popular than I thought it might be. Thanx to everyone who encouraged me to continue this; bheryandcherry, SouthernRain, Azrielle, SpIkEs AnGeL, fictionfreak2, AnGeL GiRl9, fashiongrrl, tinkerbell42, BrownEyes, DestinysFate, RoboShiflo - all of you made me smile with your nice comments. Gotta say though, SpIkEs AnGeL you really scared me for a second there! And DestinysFate, I'm so honoured to have one of my absolute fave authors reading and reviewing my fic! :-) Here's the next chapter, and I'm updating 'Trouble With Boys' too for anyone who's interested, and One Wild Night should be updated in a couple of days.

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 3: Our Day - 1980

A few months later came the day those four friends had been waiting for. After much organisation between themselves and their families, it was finally their wedding day. I've seen pictures and I can tell you it was the most beautiful of occasions and I only wish I could have seen it for real, despite the fact that it would have been highly inappropriate for me to be born and old enough to understand before my parents were married. Oh, listen to me rambling, sorry, now let's get on with this story...

"Are you nervous?" Jenny asked her best friend as she finished off her hair and helped her with her veil, her own already in place and looking perfect.

"A little" Joyce replied, "Mostly I'm just excited, how about you?"

"Oh yeah, definitely nervous _and_ excited" Jenny nodded, "Who'd have thought one day we'd be having a double wedding?"

"It's crazy how things turn out" Joyce agreed, before realising Jenny was done with her hair and turning around on her chair to look at her friend, "We won't ever lose touch will we?" she asked with a slight frown.

"Of course not" the brunette assured her, "We're best friends for life, all four of us"

The two shared a smile, unaware of just how close their friendship would really remain. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"The girls'll get a bloody shock when they find out" Giles snickered to his best friend Hank as they tied their ties and checked their appearance in the full length mirror.

"Happy shocked though, right?" the more nervous of the two men checked.

"Of course, happy shocked" Giles rolled his eyes, "Living right next door to each other will be dream come true for those two, they love to be in each others pockets, you know that"

Hank nodded that he did know and smiled widely as he thought of how great his life would be. Today he was marrying the woman he loved most in the world as his best friend did the same thing. Then the four would move into two apartments, one across the hall from the other, so the friends never had to be too far away. It was perfect.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Oh my God" both Joyce and Jenny exclaimed together as their surprise was revealed to them. Hank and Giles laughed at the girls' expressions as they saw the two front doors, both with ribbons and balloons tied to the handles.

"Well, I think they're definitely surprised?" Hank chuckled.

"You think so?" Giles replied, grabbing hold of his new wife, "You happy, sweetheart?"

"Oh yes" she smiled, kissing him, "it's wonderful"

"How about you, honey?" Hank asked his own bride and she smiled just a wide as anyone else.

"I love it" she told him, "and I love you"

Both couples stood kissing in the hallway, all decked out in their wedding attire, they would have been a sight to behold should anyone have walked by and seen them there.

"Well, shall we get inside then" Giles asked Jenny with a look in his eyes as they finally came up for air.

"First, I have a surprise for you too" she grinned, getting the attention of the other couple too, "Let's just say I feel a little hypocritical wearing virginal white for this wedding" she told them shyly and it was obvious to them all what she meant.

"You're not?" Giles gasped, wide-eyed.

"I am" Jenny giggled and nodded, "I'm pregnant"

There were hugs and kisses all around at the joyous news before both couples went to their respective apartments and thoroughly enjoyed their wedding nights. It was the start of their marriages and their new lives together, and they couldn't wait to see what happened next.

Well, what usually follows love and marriage? I know what you're thinking, the baby carriage, right? Well, you're not totally wrong, but remember this was 1981 and three years before me and my sister would come along...

__

To Be Continued...


	4. Bundle Of Joy 1981

****

A/N : Here's another short chapter. I think the chapters will probably get longer later on but right now I'm afraid they're just gonna have to be this size. Thanx to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter; SouthernRain, DestinysFate, Michelle, Rachel, fictionfreak2, Spuffygirl, tinkerbell42, Azzy - I hope you all continue to enjoy the fic, please do tell me if anything doesn't make sense or if a chapter is just plain bad, writing three fics at once can be confusing and I need you guys to let me know if I start writing rubbish! I'll be updating 'Trouble With Boys' next and then 'One Wild Night' and then this one again, at least, that is the plan... ;-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 4 : Bundle of Joy - 1981

As unlikely as it was, it appeared Giles and Jenny's first and only night of passion before their wedding night had been the one that got her pregnant, since just short of nine months beyond the date of the double wedding, was the day their child chose to come into the world...

"Joyce, it's Giles" the man whose nickname of Ripper now felt wholly inappropriate said into the phone, his tone a little panicked, "Jenny's gone into labour" he told his friend who lived across the hall.

"You need us to come over?" the blonde woman asked, sitting up in bed and glancing at the clock that read 02:37. She gave Hank a shove to wake him up before a thought hit her.

"Why are you calling when you only live across the hall?" she frowned and she heard a scream from Jenny on the other end of the line.

"Cos this bloody woman's got a death grip on my hand" Giles complained, of course he didn't deny his wife anything but every time she had a contraction she almost broke his fingers.

"Oh, okay" Joyce tried not to laugh as she pictured the scene, "We'll be right there"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"We need to get her to the hospital" Giles was saying to Hank as Joyce went to her friends aid, trying to make her comfortable on the sofa. Jenny's hand was still clamped around Rupert's and despite his strength he still winced every time she squeezed.

"We don't have time for hospitals" Joyce soon realised and Jenny looked terrified.

"But I have to go to the hospital, I'm having a baby" she almost screamed as another contraction tried to rip her in two, at least that's what it felt like.

"These contractions are too close together, honey" Joyce tried to explain, "We're going to have to do this here"

The other three occupants of the room looked distinctly panicked, eyes trained on Joyce telling her she was crazy. The blonde only sighed.

"Well, you can try to get to the hospital in time" she huffed, "But don't blame me if your child ends up being born in the back of your car!"

That was enough to make Giles realise the baby should be born in the apartment. Even if Jenny's high pitched screaming and wrenching off his hand hadn't done it, risking his leather interiors had!

"Now Jenny" Joyce was soon telling her friend, "When I say the word, I'm gonna need you to push..."

Hank left the room out of respect and Giles knelt beside his wife, not caring so much about his painful hand as Joyce told him she could see his child coming into the world.

Less than a half hour later, and after much yelling and pushing, there was an extra occupant in the room.

"Oh my God" Jenny cried as Joyce handed the baby to her, "He's so beautiful"

"He is" Giles agreed as he knelt beside the sofa that she laid on, "Just like his mother"

"What will you call him" their blonde friend asked, as her own husband returned to the room and gave her a hug, telling her well done for what she'd done. The new parents shared a smile and Giles announced the child's name.

"William Rupert Giles" he grinned, "My son"

Confused yet? If you're not I'm sure you will be soon, but I swear I have a point and we'll get to it eventually and then you'll fully understand the predicament I mentioned at the beginning of this tale...

__

To Be Continued...


	5. Oh Baby 1985

A/N : Finally got back around to this fic, just a short chapter but then all these back-story chapters are gonna be fairly short I think, longer chapters when I get back to the future...if that made any sense at all! Thanx for the reviews on chapter 4; fictionfreak2, tinkerbell42, SpIkEs AnGeL, SouthernRain, DestinysFate, BTVS4eva, fashiongrrl - you guys are the best, I loved all your comments and how, despite being confused, you like to pitch in your ideas about what might happen. Don't worry about influencing the story into going a different way, I have a very definite plan for this fic and it will not be changing. Just in case it wasn't totally obvious, the comments at the start and end of each chapter are in Buffy's POV, and yes William is Spike, or at least he will be...you'll see what I mean when we get to that part of the story. Anyway, here's the next chapter...and I should be updating 'Trouble With Boys' later today for anyone who is interested.

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 5 : Oh Baby - 1985

Early in the year of 1985, and if the mathematical side of your brain is working today you'll realise that William, whose birth I just explained, is now four years old. It was on his birthday that further happy news was shared...

William'sparents and the couple he knew as his aunt and uncle completed another chorus of Happy Birthday and he grinned. Today William Giles was four years old and the proud owner of several new toy cars and the latest action man figure, but Mummy said the biggest surprise was yet to come.

"What's my other surprise Mummy?" he begged to know, "You said you'd tell me when Auntie Joyce and Uncle Hank got here" he complained as Jenny cut his birthday cake into slices.

"Just five more minutes, Will" she told him, "Let's get everyone a piece of cake and a drink and then I'll tell, okay?"

"Okay" he smiled as he waited as patiently as he was able and all four adults and himself were given a slice of his cake that was shaped like a racing car.

"Now, as William has been saying all day, there is another surprise and it as much for all of us as it is for him" she told her friends, smiling as Giles put his arm around her shoulders.

"What is it?" the small boy sitting beside them was desperate to know.

"You're going to be a big brother, Will" his father told him, his accent a little more refined these days as he'd gone into the world of business and found his slang and coarse tone was unsuitable.

"Oh congratulations" Joyce grinned, hugging her friend as Hank shook hands with Giles. William looked on with a confused expression.

"A big brother?" he echoed, trying to decide whether he liked that idea of not.

"Yes, sweetheart" Jenny smiled at his confusion, "In five months time you're going to have to help Mummy and Daddy look after a new baby"

Deciding that it might actually be fun to be someone's big brother, the little boy smiled brightly and hugged his mothers legs.

"We weren't going to mention this" Joyce began as the room became silent again, "because it was William's day, but...I'm pregnant too" she smiled and again there was hugging and hand shaking and congratulating all around.

"Will I be your baby's big brother too Auntie Joyce?" William asked, frowning again, and all four adults couldn't help but laugh.

"Not exactly, honey" the blonde woman chuckled, "but you can be good friends"

"At least we made it to a hospital this time" Giles sighed as he helped Jenny from the car, wondering how he was going to get William into the building too.

"Yeah, but what were the odds of this happening in stereo?" Hank almost laughed as helped Joyce out of the other side of the vehicle.

The women had gone into labour within an hour of each other, despite the fact their due dates were two weeks apart, and it was a race to see whose little bundle would emerge first. Both Jenny and Joyce screamed with the force of a contraction almost exactly at the same time and if their husbands didn't know any better they'd say they were doing it on purpose!

Several hours of pacing the waiting area later, Hank was called in to meet his daughter, Elizabeth Anne Summers and not ten minutes later, Willow Stephanie Giles put in an appearance too, much to the delight of Giles and little William.

The two little girls were placed in two little cots beside each other and as the four adults congratulated each other, William watched the tiny children. Unsure as to exactly how these things worked and which one would be coming home with him the little boy just grinned at them both.

"I'm your big brother" he told them, "Nice to meet you"

The two babies only gurgled then promptly screamed and cried in response, wanting their mothers and something to eat, no doubt. Still William wondered if it was his fault.

You starting to understand now? It should be getting a little more obvious, but still I s'pose you're thinking whilst us three kids might grow up close, I should not have mistaken William for being my actual brother. Well, it's a little more complicated than it appears, more complicated and slightly more tragic...

To Be Continued...


	6. Why? 1985

****

A/N : I have to say that I'm surprised how popular this fic is, I honesty didn't think that many people would wanna read it. Anyway, thanx to everyone who reviewed; twisty-treat (no, Willow doesn't get an English accent, lol), tinkerbell42, fictionfreak2, SpIkEs AnGeL (keep reading, this chapter explains the tragic part), SoutherRain, EmilyTheStrange1, ladymiss, spuffyluva73 (keep on reading and everything should start to make sense), fashiongrrl (I actually laughed when I wrote that part and I don't know why either, lol. Everything will become clear later, keep on reading!). Hope the ending of this chapter makes sense, with any luck you'll understand what's going on, I think it sounded better in my head than it looks on the page/screen... [I'm updating One Wild Night today too]

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 6 : Why? - 1985

I was two days old, fighting fit and healthy so they tell me. I've seen pictures of me and Willow at that tiny age and always wonder at how our parents can say we were beautiful. We look weird and wrinkly and red to me, but hey, when you're told you're beautiful, you don't argue! Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the day I was brought home from St Joseph's Hospital...

"Time to go home sweetheart" Joyce told her tiny daughter as Hank lifted the baby from the cot she lie in, "I wish we could _all_ go home" she looked upon Jenny and Giles with sympathy as they watched their own little daughter lying in an incubator. Willow was in no danger, the doctors were certain she would live and be completely healthy in a couple of days. She had actually been born after Buffy Summers, but had been due earlier and so was weaker. A few hours after her birth, the little girl with the bright green eyes had a little trouble with her breathing and had been placed in an incubator, where the doctors had decided she should remain for a few days.

"It's okay" Jenny tried to smile ad not look too disappointed, "We only have to wait a couple more days, then we'll be a proper little family too" she thought of how wonderful it would be on that day, when William would not go to nursery school but would go with his parents to pick up the newest member of their family.

The four friends exchanged hugs and handshakes before the Summers family headed for home and the Giles's remained behind, for now at least.

"Here we are" Joyce cooed to the child in her arms as they entered the apartment, "This is our home, Buffy" she told the oblivious baby, "and you and me and Daddy live here, and across the hall, that's where Uncle Giles and Aunt Jenny and your cousins William and Willow will live.

The baby just wriggled and yawned in response which made her proud parents smile. Joyce and Hank spent a couple of hours, telling their child about their home and how wonderful their life would be because they loved her, and each other, so much. It was mid-afternoon when the phone rang and Hank answered it.

"Hank, it's Jenny" said the voice on the other end, "I kind of need a favour"

"Sure, Jenny, what's the problem?" her friend replied, swapping frowns with his wife.

"There having some sort of paperwork crisis at the office and Giles had to rush off, you know how panicky he is about this possible promotion" Mrs Giles explained, "Problem is, he's taken the car..."

"And unless you want to walk three miles home alone" Hank interrupted, "You need someone to come pick you up?" he guessed.

"I hate to ask" Jenny said sheepishly, "especially since you just got Buffy home..."

"It's okay" she was interrupted again as Hank said he'd be there as quick as he could to bring the brunette home. 

"Jenny's stranded at St Joseph's" Hank explained to his wife as soon as he'd hung up the phone, "Giles had an office crisis and left her without transport, I'm gonna go pick her up" the man explained, putting his jacket and shoes back on and picking up his car keys, "I won't be long" he promised, kissing his wife briefly and dropping a kiss onto the head of his child too, "See you later, sweethearts" he said as he left, and as the door slammed shut Buffy started to scream her head off.

"It's okay sweetie" Joyce tried to calm her, "Daddy will be back soon, I promise"

It took Hank barely a few minutes to get to the hospital and Jenny was waiting just beyond the main doors. She smiled as she climbed into the passenger seat beside him.

"Thanks so much for this Hank" she said as she pulled on her seatbelt.

"No problem" the man smiled back and the two chatted amiably as they travelled back towards the apartment block where they lived. The radio played softly in the background until suddenly Jenny recognised the song and moved to turn up the volume. She turned the wrong dial and accidentally changed the station instead, then proceeded to fumble with the controls in the hope of getting back the station and the volume.

"I'm useless" she complained with a laugh and Hank glanced down at what she was doing.

"Here" he said, lifting one hand from the steering wheel and reaching to the radio, "turn this one, that way" he pointed but she didn't look in time.

"This one?" she asked him and he looked down again, just for a moment, but it was one moment too long.

A truck pulled out of the junction and it really wasn't the driver's fault, it was his right of way, but Hank wasn't looking and by the time he was, it was too late to swerve. The front of the car crumpled like paper as it smashed head-long into the side of the articulated vehicle.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

'Ring! Ring!'

"Hello...yes this is Mrs Joyce Summers...oh God no!"

'Ring! Ring!'

"Rupert Giles speaking...yes...oh heavens, please no!"

__

To Be Continued...


	7. Grief and Sorrow 1985

****

A/N : Thanx to the reviewers of chapter 6; tinkerbell42, EmilyTheStrange1, fashiongrrl, SlayGal, fictionfreak2, Rachel - you guys are so nice! Just so it's clear, Hank and Jenny both died in the crash. I know it's sad, but there is a reason for it. Hopefully everything is starting to get a little clearer now and less complicated, and I'm glad you're all still reading despite the fact that so far it's all back-story and no Spuffy...anyway, hope you all keep reading and liking and reviewing :-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 7 : Grief and Sorrow - 1985

I would say it was hard losing my father, but to be honest I cannot miss what I have never had, and I know Willow would say the same about her mother. We did not suffer, but I know our remaining parents did. It helped that they had each other to lean on, but I just cannot imagine how awful that joint funeral must have been, especially when it was all too soon after the double wedding that had made all four people so happy. 

"We're so sorry Rupert" the old Mrs Giles told her son as they walked out of the cemetery, herself and her husband to the man's right and Joyce carrying her baby to his left. 

"Jenny was a very special young woman" the older Mr Giles agreed and Joyce began to cry all over again, as she remembered her best friend as well as her husband. Giles who had been mostly silent for the whole week since he found out about his wife and friends death, slipped his arm over her shoulders, as much for his own comfort as hers. He watched the tiny baby in her arms stretch and yawn and thought of his own child who had not been well enough to leave the hospital who was due to leave the hospital tomorrow after a small relapse. As if it were some kind of nasty irony, Willow's little heart had slowed on the day Jenny died. Fortunately, after much examination, it was found to be nothing serious, just a little breathing difficulty from her early birth and the doctors assured Giles that the child would be just fine, but another couple of days at the hospital were recommend.

The silent Englishman was almost glad not to have to worry about her during the funeral. His other child, William, was at nursery school all day and was looked after by his grandparents for the rest part of the time. It was they who had told the boy he wouldn't see Mummy again and he'd cried about it of course, but not really understood. When told that Jenny was in a pretty place called Heaven now and that she was happy, it seemed to please him somehow, just knowing that she loved him and that she was safe.

"Would you like us to pick William up from the nursery?" Giles' mother asked as they neared their cars. Silently he nodded and so William was to spend the night with his grandparents at their house across town again. No-one realised just how much time he would be spending with his older relations.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Giles retreated into himself after Jenny's death and seldom came out of his apartment. He remained inside, clutching his baby girl like she was his last link to his dead wife. Joyce was equally upset about her loss, but she'd dealt with it differently to her friend. She chose to remember the happy time with Hank, and whilst she did obviously cry for him, she knew he'd want her to be happy. She made the best out of those first few days that she could, loving her daughter so much and seeing her husband in her eyes.

William remained with his grandparents, as there was really nowhere else for him to go. When Giles shut himself away he looked after himself and the baby well enough but he refused to open the door to his parents or the small child they cared for which was really his own.

It was now two weeks after the funeral and the little boy had seen his father and sister just once, and then only briefly. After the loss of his mother, he started to believe his father was gone too and his sister with him. It hurt the child whom could not understand why it was happening. Had he not been a good boy? Is that why everyone he loved was going away.

"Your Grandma Jane has been taken ill" the old Mrs Giles told her son, "It's sounding bad and your father and I need to go back to England for a while"

No reply, as usual, although Willow could be heard crying and Giles' parents had no doubts that silently their son was crying too.

"If you want us to, we can take William with us" Rupert was told through the letterbox, "I doubt we will be gone above a week or so, but he's your son and if you want him with you..."

Still no reply, as if they'd not been heard at all. They worried about him deeply, but the older Mr and Mrs Giles knew only too well, that this was Rupert's way of dealing with things and had been since he was a child. Lock himself away, cut himself off from everyone that he could until he's got over his pain or at least beaten it down to a manageable level. Willow was probably the last person other than Hank that Jenny had seen before she died, the last little person she'd spoken to, the last to hear the words 'I love you' from her lips. Giles was clinging to that but in the process he was alienating the rest of his family.

The silence meant the decision was made, the Giles must leave for England that night and it seemed their grandson was to travel with them. The pair slipped a note beneath the apartment door, making doubly sure their son would know what was going on, just in case he hadn't taken in the words they'd spoken to him now.

Joyce was crying. From her own apartment she could here Giles' parents calling to him. She alone could understand how much he was hurting, how deep the pain cut into his heart, as her own grief tore into her. She wished she could be of some use to him, but even her begging and pleading would not make him open the door, she'd tried several times.

The widowed Mrs Summers hoped rather than believed that her English friend would soon find a way to deal with his guilt, if not for his own sake, she guiltily wished he would be of some support to her. They could help each other through this difficult time, she was sure, if only he'd let her in.

It was far from a happy time, I can't begin to imagine how awful it must have been for them all. Losing one person you love must be bad enough but to lose two at once...sometimes it's just too horrible to think about the agony they must have gone through. I comfort myself with the fact that they are happy now, and that happiness came, as Mom knew it would, from them supporting each other...

__

To Be Continued...

****

A/N2 : For those who are interested, my next update will probably be in a couple of days on 'One Wild Night'.


	8. Remember The Day 1986

****

A/N : I haven't been feeling so good the last couple of days but I managed to hammer out this chapter, I wanted to get it done so I could concentrate on the next chapter of One Wild Night (it's gonna be long and, I think, popular with the readers!) Anyway, thanx to those people who reviewed this fic - SpIkEs AnGeL, fictionfreak2, SweetBitter, Vivid Butterfly, tinkerbell42, SouthernRain, Kristy Marie, Slayer87, SlayGal - and to think I almost decided not to write this story! I'm so glad that I did now, all your reviews make me glad :-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 8 : Remember The Day - 1986

It was sixth months after the funeral of their partners and best friends, that the remaining two finally talked properly. Despite the best efforts of the female half of the equation, the male half had been so broken by what had happened, he hardly went out other than to drop Willow off with the child minder and go to work. 

William remained in England with his grandparents this whole time. It had turned out that his great-grandma was holding on by a thread but never quite died and the old Mr and Mrs Giles refused to leave until the terrible day came. They had offered to fly their son out to be with them or simply just to come and fetch his little boy, but he'd refused, saying that William was probably better off with them right now, he had turned five now and had been enrolled at a primary school. I'm sure he missed his parents but everyone seemed to think they were doing the right thing for him. 

Anyway, it's actually not him I wanted to tell you about right now. This is what happened when two old friends finally talked about their loss, after too long of being silent...

There was a knock on the door and Giles didn't even consider moving to answer it. He was staring blankly at the TV which was switched off, with Willow on the floor near his feet, rolling around with her toys and giggling to herself.

"Giles, please open the door" a woman's voice called, "It's Joyce" she informed him and still he was just as happy remaining still than he was anything else.

"You have to talk to someone at some point" his friend complained, "What would Jenny think of you locking yourself away like this"

That was what did it. Immediately Giles was on his feet and by the door, tearing it open suddenly.

"Don't mention her to me" he said fairly menacingly but Joyce was not alarmed. She hoisted Buffy up more comfortably on her hip and looked defiantly at the man before her.

"She was my best friend" she said, looking him right in the eye, "and I lost her and my husband at the same time. It seems I've lost my only other best friend too" she finished, turning her back on him, but not actually walking away.

"Come in" she heard him say behind her and with a sigh she turned back and followed him into the apartment he and Willow lived in.

Despite the fact that they had so far seen little of each other, Buffy was eager to be sat down on the floor with Willow and the two children were soon rolling around the carpet with a ball. For a while Joyce and Giles, seated together on the sofa, watched the children play.

"She looks like you" Giles said quietly, his eyes flitting from Buffy to Joyce. The woman smiled.

"Thankyou" she said, looking down at her daughter, "but sometimes when she looks at me, I see Hank in those eyes of hers"

Giles nodded that he understood, sometimes Willow reminded him so much of Jenny, it physically hurt to look. As much as he loved William, he knew having two of them, two little people with Jenny's spirit in their eyes, the very thought was too much, the reality he was sure would kill him right now.

"Why do you hide yourself away?" Joyce had to ask, "It won't help"

"Nothing helps" came Giles' grim reply, "Over six months since it happened and I just..." he trailed off, not crying but close to tears and it only made Joyce want to cry too.

"We could help each other" Joyce managed to say, swallowing hard to drown the lump in her throat, "We need to try, for them" she told her friend, her eyes shifting to the two smiling children on the floor.

"She needs a mother" Giles said in a whisper, "I need my wife"

"I know" Joyce choked back another sob as she remembered only too well that her child was to grow up without a father, that she was to grow old without a husband.

Silence reigned for a few moments, until the girls started to giggle at heavan only knows what, they looked so happy together.

"Things were simpler then" Giles said sadly and Joyce was a little confused, off her expression he explained, "Being their age" he half-smiled at a memory, "even older, being teenagers, we were happy then weren't we?" he reminisced.

"We were" Joyce agreed with a sniff and a sigh, she surprised the man beside her and even herself as she began to laugh, "It's ridiculous, I had the biggest crush on you" she admitted, going red when she realised what she'd just said.

Giles looked over at her, completely seriously, not laughing at all when he replied.

"It's not ridiculous, I liked you too" he told her, "It was just..." he trailed off as he realised his reasons for not dating Joyce were the two people whom they now mourned, and for a split second the thought occurred that he still liked Joyce and there was nothing to stop them now...but the idea passed by as they do and he brought his eyes back to the carpet.

"Things might have been different" Joyce sighed, voicing thoughts that perhaps she shouldn't, but she'd spent to long in silence, "If you and I had gotten together...these kids might have been ours...I don't regret my marriage and I miss Hank and Jenny terribly but...I don't know sometimes I just wonder..." there were too many thoughts getting confused in her head and some of them were making Joyce feel more guilty than she could stand. It wasn't long before she was crying.

Like a reflex, Giles' arm went around her shoulders and pulled her close, fighting back his own tears. Somehow without even meaning to, they'd both thought things that seemed to blemish the memory of their loved ones.

"It'll be alright" Giles told Joyce as he held her, "we'll learn to move on...eventually" he said, though he was far from certain he could, it did help having his friend there with him. They were comfort for each other, company and a familiar face.

As Joyce pulled back out of his arms and looked at him, there was a moment when their eyes locked. She nodded, in response to what he had said before, words suddenly becoming an issue under the intensity of his gaze. Which one of them moved first, neither was really sure, but in seconds they were kissing and despite the fact they knew it should feel wrong, it felt more right than anything else ever had.

As Buffy and Willow collided on the floor, both shrieked and their parents jumped apart. They silently looked at the kids and then each other, struggling to comprehend what they were doing and what the other was thinking.

Buffy began to cry loudly, which also set Willow off and their respective parents rushed to pick them up and hold them. Joyce quickly mumbled something about taking Buffy home and made for the door but Giles had one thing he needed to say first.

"Thankyou" he called behind her and she turned once to acknowledge that she'd heard him, "You're right, I think we can make it...together"

They shared a small smile as Joyce left the apartment and Giles went back to attempting to stop the child on his lap from crying. As he held the little girl and rocked her gently to stop her sobbing, his mind was not totally on her. For the first time in six months, his thoughts were not solely of Jenny and Hank's deaths. Something had just changed between him and Joyce, something he was glad about, and he'd meant what he said about them making it together, he believed they really could now.

Well, that's how it started, how the people I call Mom and Dad started to get it together. It wasn't simple by any means, but that kiss on that day, it set off a chain reaction that would end up with our little family...

__

To Be Continued...


	9. Mommy and Daddy 1987

****

A/N : Thanx to; EmilyTheStrange1, SpIkEs AnGeL, SouthernRain, fashiongrrl, SweetBitter, Slayer87, courtney, SlayGal. You are all very kind with your nice comments, and I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. A couple more chapters and we'll be heading back to the present day, so teenage Buffy and Willow at high school and everything, and yes, when we get to that point, William will be coming home. And Rachel, believe me when I tell you that it might be magic that helps me to write all these fics, cos I honestly don't have a real explanation, lol. Now...read, enjoy, and review (please)!

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 9 : Mommy and Daddy - 1987

After that first kiss that myself and Willow accidentally interrupted, the people we would both see one day as our parents kind of dated for a while. It wasn't a regular, normal sort of a relationship, it could never be, not with the history of them and their friends and partners, but they got closer than before. I think they kind of started all over again, they went back to being those two teenagers that were attracted to each other and this time nothing stood in the way, nothing except some painful memories. But you can't live in the past, you have to learn from it and move on...God I sound freakishly like my mother. Not that it's any bad thing, I mean I love my Mom, but I'm seventeen for God sakes, not forty five! Anyway, this is not what you want to hear, you want me to get to the point about myself and my problem with being in love with a guy that's kind of my brother. I swear we'll get to that soon, but first I thought you might like to know exactly how my little family became what it is today...

"Joyce?" Giles checked to see if the woman whose head leant on his chest was actually completely asleep.

"Mmm" came her quiet reply, her eyes already closed. She was so comfortable lying on the sofa with this man's arm holding her close.

"How do you see our future together?"

Joyce's eyes were suddenly open at Rupert's unexpected question.

"What do you mean?" she asked, shifting her position so she could look at him properly.

"Well, I love you" he smiled "and I'm sure that much is obvious, at least I hope it is"

"It is" she smiled back, before reaching up to kiss him lightly, "and I love you too" she assured him.

"Well, in light of that" Giles began again, looking and sounding a little nervous "I thought perhaps we might try to be a proper family" off Joyce's slightly puzzled expression he continued "What I mean to say is, Willow will need a female influence in her life, perhaps Buffy might need a male one too..." he trailed off, frustrated with himself for explaining all this so badly. He'd had a speech planned but it was all coming out wrong.

"What are you trying to say, Rupert?" Joyce asked him as he began to wonder the very same thing himself.

"What I'm trying to say" he began again, hoping a deep breath and some concentration might actually help him to get out a grammatically correct sentence "is that, I know it's not much over a year since we lost...them" he avoided the names of the wife he'd lost and Joyce's past husband too "but us four being together feels so right, like a real family...I wondered, Joyce, would you perhaps consider marrying me?"

"Oh God" the woman who had been half lying across him suddenly sat bolt upright, hand covering her mouth in shock, it was the last thing she'd expected Rupert to say. Unfortunately the man took her shock for disgust.

"I'm so sorry" he said, quickly, looking anywhere except at the woman he was talking to "I've shocked you, moved too quickly, I didn't mean to, I just..."

Giles was quickly silenced as Joyce leaned over and kissed him, he was so surprised he didn't respond and was still wide-eyed, as well as a little worse for wear through lack of oxygen, when she pulled away and began to speak to him.

"Rupert" she smiled, her hand on his cheek as she looked into his eyes "if there's one shred of good that came out of that tragic day, it was that I learnt some things" she told him seriously "Don't take anything for granted. Every day is precious. If you see something you want, you have to go for it, grab it with both hands and don't ever let it go" tears came to eyes as she finished speaking and one droplet slid down her face.

"Is that a yes?" Giles asked hopefully as he wiped the lone tear away.

"Yes, it's a yes" Joyce smiled and nodded, before the two shared another kiss.

It didn't take long for the subject of adoption to come up. They wanted us to be a proper family in every way and so I was adopted by the man I now call Dad, Rupert Giles, whilst my real Mom, Joyce, became official mother of Willow too. William was left with his grandparents in England, which on reflection seems like a rather cruel thing to do to a small child. I know my parents have regretted it, ever since their decision to let him stay with the two people I can now call my grandparents, but at the time I know they had William's best interests at heart. He'd become settled in England, at a nice school and with lots of friends. I was just two and a half when the wedding came around and of course never even questioned the absence of a boy I was later to learn to see as my brother.

__

To Be Continued...

****

[Coming Very Soon (tomorrow, hopefully) : 

One Wild Night - Chapter 9 - Kiss & Don't Always Tell]


	10. Truth Time 1993

****

A/N : Thanx to all those who reviewed; SpIkEs AnGel, SouthernRain, fictionfreak2, Leanne8582. Did we not like chapter 9? Maybe I'm just being greedy. The four reviews that I got were super-nice so I can't complain. Next chapter will be Buffy and Willow in High School and then we get into the part where William returns. Anyway, here's chapter 10. Hope you like...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 10 : Truth Time - 1993

Myself and Willow, being less than three when our parents married, had no idea we weren't really siblings. We were brought up as sisters, in a house in Revello Drive, Sunnydale, and were often told of our brother, William, who lived in England. It never occurred to us that Mom wasn't really Mom or that Dad wasn't really Dad, at least, not until we were seven years old and some kid in the playground made a comment, like they do. Despite the fact it was over ten years ago, I can remember it all as if it were yesterday...

"Its okay, Will" Buffy comforted her sister as the walked home from school, a short journey that took just a minute or two on foot. The red-head, with tears streaming down her face, was glad of the blonde's arm around her shoulders, but it didn't make her any happier about what one of the boys at school had said to her today. 

As Joyce let her two girls into the house, she immediately hugged Willow and asked what was wrong.

"That stinky boy Parker was saying mean things" Buffy explained with an angry look on her face.

"What did he say to upset my babies?" their mother asked as she took them both into the living room with her and they all sat on the sofa, Willow huddled beneath her arm whilst Buffy sat with her arms folded over her chest and explained about 'that stinky Parker boy'.

"He said we look too different to be sisters and that sisters with birthdays on the same day have to look idenc..indetic...they have to look exactly the same" she told her mother as Willow's sobs began to slow and her tears stopped flowing quite so freely, "Why don't we look the same, Mommy?" Buffy asked in all her wide eyed innocence and Joyce felt sick. The day had finally come when they had to know the truth. It would have been easy enough to say they didn't have to look the same, twins didn't always, that was the honest truth, but the bigger and better truth would be to admit they weren't real biological sisters. 

Checking her watch, Joyce knew it would be just another minute or two before Rupert got home. He'd been meeting a business associate for lunch and was not required back in the office after that, so he'd estimated to be home early. As if on cue, a key was heard in the lock and, her question temporarily forgotten, Buffy belted toward the door, Willow soon right behind her.

"Daddy!" the two cried, both managing a smile and Giles was pleased to see them as always. He crouched down to their level and gave them both a hug before standing again and going into the living room where Joyce still sat on the couch, a troubled look on her face.

"Is everything alright Joyce?" her husband asked as he came to sit beside her and the girls stood in front of them, Willow by her mother's knee and Buffy by her father's.

"Rupert, a boy at school told the girls they couldn't be sisters because their birthday is the same day but they're not identical twins..." her explanation trailed off as she caught her spouses eye and they shared a look, silently agreeing it was time for the truth.

"Why don't we look the same, Daddy?" little Buffy asked him with a little frown of confusion on her face. With a sigh, Giles took his wallet from his back pocket and pulled a photograph from it.

Willow giggled as she and Buffy were shown the picture.

"Is that you?" she asked quietly, looking at her parents and pointing at similar but younger looking people in the photograph.

"Yes, sweetie" Joyce smiled as tears came to her eyes.

"Who are the other people?" Buffy wanted to know, always the curious kid with twenty questions about everything.

"The lady is called Jenny and the man is called Hank" Giles told both her and Willow, swallowing hard, "I was married to Jenny and your mother was married to Hank"

Even Buffy was too shocked to have another question lined up in response to that. Giles was quite relieved as he continued to explain.

"Unfortunately, there was an accident...they're in heaven now, and have been since just after you were born. Then your mother and myself decided that we should make a little family, us four, so we could be happy even though we'd lost two important people" Giles sighed at the still confused expressions on the children's faces. He knew he was explaining badly but he didn't know what else to say.

"You see babies, Buffy was my baby, mine and Hanks, and Willow, you were Daddy and Jenny's baby" Joyce tried to help, "but when they had to go to heaven, we thought it was a good idea for us to make you both our little girls...do you understand?"

Buffy and Willow looked at each other then at their parents. They were still a little lost but it was starting to make _some_ sense, at least.

"So, it's true?" Buffy asked, her little voice shaking and tears coming to her eyes a she realised she couldn't blame Parker for this anymore, it was real, "We're not really sisters?"

"Oh you are, baby" Joyce assured her daughter pulling her onto the sofa to her right the Willow to her left, "You're sisters in every way that matters, and we're still your Mommy and Daddy, and we love you so much.." emotion took over and tears took Joyce's voice away. Giles too was close to crying as he looked upon the family he saw as his own, despite the fact Buffy was only his daughter by adoption and Joyce was not his own child's true mother.

"We're a family because we love each other" Giles told the two little girls that in his eyes were both his own, "and that's all that matters"

Well, we accepted what we were told, and the fact we now knew we weren't really sisters did not tear us apart, if anything it made the bond between us stronger because we had to make up for the lack of similar genetics. Giles was still Dad to me as much as my Mom was still Willow's too, but we had questions as we grew up, about what really happened to our 'other' parents as we called them, what they were like and how those we call Mom and Dad felt about them. We were an interesting couple of kids for anyone to know, always willing to share our story whenever someone asked us how come we were un-identical sisters born on the same day. I remember when we first met Xander and explained it all to him. I think his exact word when our tale was finished was; Shpadoinkle! Which he tells me is a phrase meaning he was shocked. Still, he soon became mine and Willow's best friend, after each other naturally. We never looked at him as boyfriend material, he was just Xander, and still is now. Xand has a girlfriend anyway, and Willow has a boyfriend, as do I. I thought I loved Riley, but he soon became just one more complication in this long story of mine...

__

To Be Continued...

****

[Next Update : One Wild Night - Chapter 10 - Thinking & Feeling]


	11. A Day In The Life 24th October 2003

****

A/N : Getting very close to the return of William in this fic now. He should get back next chapter. In the meantime, thanx to those who reviewed; SpIkEs AnGeL, aphelant, twisty-treat, fictionfreak2, Slayer87, SouthernRain, Rachel, fashiongrrl, amylase, SlayGal, Leanne8582, Michelle. You guys are all so awesome for taking the time to write a review and tell me what you like about my story - big thanks all around! :) Here's the next chapter, coming up towards the present day now...oh, by the way, the 'present day' will actually be in November since I planned this out a while ago...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 11 : A Day In The Life - 24th October 2003

Despite our little family being kind of irregular, I grew up to be a fairly normal girl, as did Willow. We began our senior year of high school in September this year and I was basically loving my life. Probably the best way to explain my life to you is to show you a snapshot, a typical day from my diary last month...

"Girls!" Joyce yelled from the bottom of the stairs, "Hurry up, you're going to be late for school!"

In their adjoining rooms, Willow and Buffy were putting the finishing touches to their outfits, makeup and hair. They were a few weeks into their senior year of high school and loving every minute of it, especially since they both had boyfriends this year, who they'd started dating over the Summer.

"We're coming Mom!" Buffy yelled back as she tapped on the door between her sisters room and her own and smiled as the red-head let her in.

"Ready to go?" Willow asked as she picked up her book bag and Buffy nodded, showing she already had her bag on her shoulder and her jacket over her arm.

The two young women ran down the stairs, one behind the other, sounding much like a heard of elephants Giles noticed with a sigh.

"Good morning girls" he greeted as they came into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of toast each.

"Hi Dad" Willow smiled, kissing his cheek as she walked past him.

"Bye Dad" Buffy giggled, as she too travelled around her fathers seat behind her sister, kissing his cheek and leaving again.

Giles looked at his wife but Joyce only shrugged.

"One day" he told her, "they will actually sit down to eat their breakfast"

"I wouldn't bet on it" Joyce laughed.

Willow and Buffy were crossing through the living room toward the front door when Buffy suddenly put down her bag, held her half eaten toast in her mouth and walked over to the mantle. She picked her necklace that she'd taken off the night before and left there by mistake. As she fastened it around her neck she took in the pictures that lived on the shelf.

In the centre was the family portrait, her parents, sister and herself. To the left was a photograph of four young people, the way hers and Willows 'real' parents used to be, and to the right a picture of a boy. The child was maybe fourteen years old, the last picture the family had received of William, the girls' brother. He'd never come back from England, for more than one reason that neither Willow nor Buffy really ever understood. Giles' parents had sent pictures every now and then, usually professional type photographs that were taken at school, but once he reached his mid-teens the pictures stopped arriving.

"Buffy, we really are going to be late!" her sister complained and Buffy checked her watch and realised Willow was right. Quickly she kissed her first two fingers of each hand, placing them on the left and right pictures upon the mantle. Despite not ever knowing her real father, Hank, or Willow's mother, Jenny, she somehow felt so close to them. The same applied to her mystery brother, William, who in her mind was everything an older brother ought to be, and she was sure he'd be that wonderful sibling she imagined one day, when they finally met.

The walk to school would ordinarily take ten minutes, today the girls hurried and made it in five, but still the bell rang right as they fell through the doors.

"Nice of you to join us" a voice said off to the side and the pair of giggling girls turned to see their best friend Xander, with his arm around his girlfriend, Cordelia Chase.

"Hey Xan" Buffy said breathlessly, the rushing to school had knocked the wind out of her, not to mentioning the laughing. There was nothing specific that she was laughing at, she was just happy, and she was always happiest when she was with Willow and her friends, and her boyfriend of course who she was kind of disappointed not to see...

It wasn't until lunch that Buffy found her man. Seated at the table in the cafeteria that had become their groups specific table quite easily. 

"Riley" she grinned as she came over to sit beside him, "I missed you" she told him, pouting like a child.

"Buffy, you saw me yesterday" he almost laughed at expression, "It's only been a few hours"

"Not the point" she told him, leaning over the table toward him, "Few hours is a long time to wait when you get that craving..." she trailed off as she got closer to him and they kissed.

"Please, people are trying to eat here!" Xander mock-complained, and Cordelia swatted him on the arm.

"Leave them alone" she told him, before turning her attention to the two approaching people that made their set complete, "Hey Will. Hi Oz" she smiled as the two red-heads took the final two seats at the table.

Conversation shifted between many topics, but most things they talked about had the six friends smiling and laughing together, til the bell rang and classes started again.

"We going out tonight?" Buffy asked Riley as she looked for books in her locker and he waited to walk her to class.

"Sure" he nodded in agreement, "how bout we hit the Bronze, the whole gang" he suggested.

"Sounds like a plan" his girlfriend said as she closed her locker door with a thump, and turned to kiss her man. The plan was told to Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia, who all agreed that they were up for a little Bronzing tonight. The plan was to meet there at seven, as usual, and if any of them had trouble getting parental clearance they could always use the 'I'm going over to someone house to study' that one almost always worked.

The six friends parted at the school gates, Xander walking Cordy home, Riley catching a lift in Oz's car and the Giles' sisters taking the reverse route from that morning.

"Tonight is gonna be awesome" Buffy grinned, "I'm gonna wear that new top I bought last week, Riley will love me in that"

"Riley loves you anyway" Willow smiled, "Just like Oz loves me"

Buffy grinned as she realised it was so true, everything in her life was just right at the moment.

The girls arrived home and Joyce was glad to actually get a chance to talk to them, they were so quick to leave in the mornings that she barely got a look at them, but when they came home from school she got her little bit of mother-daughter time with them. 

As usual, they relayed the more interesting parts of their day to their mother, also asking for permission to go out tonight and knowing what answer they would receive, 'Of course, but I want you back early, tomorrow is a school day'. Both with a grin and a dutiful 'Yes, Mom' the sisters disappeared upstairs and the next couple of hours were the usual homework and chat until their Dad got home.

Giles then got his turn to actually spend a little time with his children, but all too often he felt a pang, knowing he should have another child there, the boy he had alienated all those years ago and now wasn't even sure what he looked like...

After dinner and some more talking about their day, Willow and Buffy went back upstairs to prepare for the Bronze. Clothes and makeup covered the two girls beds as they decided what to wear, knowing that it didn't really matter because they would look good in whatever they chose.

As usual, they were reminded by Giles to be home at a reasonable time before they headed out to the towns one and only night spot for young people. The rest of the gang were already there, at a table, drinking sodas. 

There was talking and later dancing and then kissing as the music slowed and the clock said it was getting late.

As usual the Giles' girls were reluctant to leave their friends and boyfriends behind, and only made it in five minutes before their curfew.

"Did you have fun, girls?" Giles asked from the couch where he and Joyce had been watching TV as they waited for their daughters to come home.

"It was great" Willow grinned.

"Always is" Buffy added with a similar smile, before they both said goodnight to there parents.

"I love seeing them so happy" Joyce smiled to her husband as she snuggled up to him, still thrilled by the feeling of his arm around her shoulders, even after all this time.

"Yes, I think we really did make the right decision, didn't we?" he said to his now half-asleep wife.

"Absolutely" she agreed.

So, there it is, a day in the life of me. Not very interesting, right? Just your average girl with an average boyfriend and average friends. Well, yeah, my life was just that simple for a while, but all that changed and in a way I could never have imagined, and it all started less than two weeks ago...

__

To Be Continued...


	12. Homecoming 7th November 2003

****

A/N : Okay, here is the chapter I think you've all been waiting for...it's about time William returned now, isn't it? ;-) Just before we get to that, I want to thank all those wonderful people that reviewed; fictionfreak2, SpIkEs AnGeL, buffspike (twice!), Slayer87, SouthernRain, golden+girl736, courtney, Rachel, SlayGal, fashiongrrl. Sorry I left you guys waiting for so long, I'll make this An short so you can get to the new chapter asap. Enjoy!

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 12 : Homecoming - 7th November 2003

It was the night of the Homecoming Dance, just eleven days ago now. The biggest thoughts in my head were; would Riley like my dress, and would it be me, one of my friends, or one of our hated enemies who got to be queen this year? Typical teenage girl thoughts, right? Exactly. Typical day in my life, again, but it was about to take a dramatic turn. Here's how...

"Well, what do you think?" Buffy turned to her sister and asked Willow's opinion of the dress she now wore.

"Oh Buffy" the red-head gasped, "You look beautiful" she exclaimed as she looked upon her blonde sister in her specially-bought figure-hugging red dress that stopped at her knees.

"Thankyou" Buffy smiled, "but look at you" she gestured, "You look so great too"

Willow blushed the colour of her hair or perhaps Buffy's dress, the way she always did when anyone complimented her, but it was true, she did look wonderful in her own deep green dress that was ankle length and less clingy than her sisters. Both girls had equally fine figures, but Buffy was much more confident about hers than Willow and it was reflected in the clothes the pair wore.

"Girls, are you ready to go?" Joyce called up the stairs, "Your friends will be here any minute" she reminded them, as the two checked themselves in the mirror one last time before grabbing their evening bags and hurrying, as much as heeled shoes allowed, across the landing and down the stairs.

"My goodness" Giles smiled as he watched them descend the stairs, Buffy first and Willow behind her, "You both look lovely, and so grown up" he realised, almost teary-eyed, it was so easy to forget they were almost eighteen now, young women and not babies anymore.

Joyce insisted on taking a couple of pictures and Buffy reminded her it wasn't prom, just their final homecoming dance. The limo soon arrived, already containing Xander and Cordelia, Riley and Oz.

"Sweetheart, you look gorgeous" Buffy's boyfriend told her as she climbed into the car and sat beside him.

"Thanks" she smiled "You look pretty good yourself" she told him right before they kissed. Similar comments were shared between the other members of the group in the car and then the conversation soon turned to Homecoming queen.

Cordelia had been nominated as had Buffy, but their's was a surprisingly friendly rivalry, neither one minding if the other got it or not. The competition against the pair was Harmony Kendall, blonde and bubbly but a total ditz, and Anya Jenkins, Xander's ex who was pretty but very blunt and often tactless. Most people would vote for Cordy or Buffy, one of them should definitely win tonight.

The six arrived in style, and took advantage of the live music and fun atmosphere. They danced, they laughed, they talked and they kissed, a couple of hours passed and finally the time came to announce the winner, the Homecoming Queen!

"Okay, can we have some quiet please" the leader of the band on stage, Devon, called order to the party, "It is time to announce this years Homecoming Queen. It's been a fierce battle but..." he opened a gold envelope and read the name of the winner to himself before continuing, "yes, the right girl won. Give it up for this years Homecoming Queen...Cordelia Chase!"

Said brunette girl screamed with surprise and joy as she ran toward the stage, dragging Xander with her. Her friends smiled and applauded as the rest of the room complied and did the same. As Cordelia got her crown and started on a speech that promised to last a very long time, Buffy slipped from her place between Riley and Willow, making her way over to the punch bowl, hoping that maybe someone had spiked it.

"Buffy?" her sister said as she appeared beside her again, "You okay?"

The blonde smiled and almost laughed at herself.

"It's pathetic, I know" she sighed, sipping her fruity drink and realising that, yes, it had been spiked with some kind of healing liquid, "And I'm happy for Cordy, but..." she trailed off.

"But you wanted the crown?" Willow guessed, feeling bad. She never wanted to be Homecoming Queen, she had absolutely no desire to be the centre of attention that way, but she knew how much her sister wanted it.

"Yeah, I kind of did" Buffy looked deep into her cup and suddenly felt a pair of arms slip around her waist from behind.

"Must have been a fixed vote" Riley whispered in her ear, "You totally deserved that crown"

"Thanks" Buffy giggled, as did Willow.

"And if it helps" her boyfriend continued as he held her close, "You'll always be my queen"

"That's sweet" the blonde girl told him as she turned in his arms, never putting down the punch that was going straight to her head. She kissed him once, before pulling away from him and re-filling her cup. In all honestly, it didn't help much. Riley was sweet, sometimes too sweet and it got annoying after a while, and his comments didn't stop her wishing she'd have taken the crown and the title tonight.

The evening was pretty uneventful after that, there was dancing, laughing, talking and even more laughing as Buffy decided the punch was the best drink ever and downed a considerable amount in a short period of time. The more she drank, the more annoying Riley seemed to become to her, until finally Willow got worried and said perhaps they should leave.

The limo wasn't due to pick them up for an hour and Willow was grateful when Oz offered to walk to his house, since it wasn't far, and fetch his car to take the sisters home. Riley wasn't anywhere to be found by now and Willow had no doubt it was because of Buffy's kind of anti-social behaviour towards him.

"Buffy" the red-head sighed, "I think we should go wait for Oz outside, y'know where the fresh air lives?"

"Sounds like fun" Buffy giggled a little madly as her sister led her to the doors.

Oz was just pulling the car up outside and he got out to help his girlfriend with the drunken Buffy. Once they were all in the car they began the bumpy journey home, making a certain member of the group feel very nauseous. Thankfully she didn't actually throw up but Willow feared for their dresses and the cars leather interiors more than once in the short journey.

"Thanks sweetie" Willow smiled to Oz, leaning through the window to kiss him goodnight, as Buffy tried to stumble her way up the path to her front door.

"Stupid shoes" she complained to herself as she tripped over her own foot, with a deep breath she again attempted the normally simple task of putting one foot in front of the other, but again her heels caused problems and she was inches away from landing on her butt when a pair of strong arms caught her.

"Oh damn...!" she began to curse as she realised the heel had broken clean off of her red strappy shoes, it was only afterwards that she noticed she'd been falling but never actually hit the ground, "Er...Riley?" she guessed, trying to figure out who would have caught her and then kept their arms around her even now.

"You okay, luv?" said a voice, coming she surmised from the man that had a hold on her.

"I'm fine" she snapped, pulling from his grasp and trying to turn around to see who he was, almost knocking herself over yet again. The stranger grabbed her arms and kept her steady.

"Thanks...I...." her sentence stopped abruptly as she finally looked at her 'saviour'. It was dark but a nearby streetlight gave off enough of a glow for her to notice the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen, blond hair that was equally as dazzling, a gorgeous face with cheekbones to die for, just north of a clearly well toned body all in black and leather, "Wow" Buffy gasped, not really realising that she'd said it outloud, her mind was screaming that and many other things none of which she'd planned to let come out of her mouth but her drunken state was not aiding coherent brain and body functions.

"Buffy!" a voice called, breaking whatever moment had been starting between the blonde girl and the stranger who had been eyeing each other quite appreciatively, "Are you okay?" Willow asked as she came to stand beside her sister, "What are you doing to her?" she yelled somewhat angrily at the mystery man.

"I bloody saved her from falling on her ass is what!" he yelled back, "And what thanks do I get?"

"Oh, I'm sorry" Willow blushed, she was a little worried by this guys bad-boy looks, but she'd obviously jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Doesn't matter, pet" the stranger sighed, "Wonder if you could help me out actually, I was looking for Rupert Giles, I thought he lived here but...?"

"Oh, he does" Willow nodded, before frowning, partly because Buffy's eyes seemed to have glazed over as she stared at the so far nameless man in front of them, second because the same girl was drooling on her shoulder because of the guy and the drunken-ness, and third because she suddenly worried; "Why do you want to see our father?"

"Your father?" the bleach blond looked strangely at the red-head., squinting for a second as if trying to see her more in focus, before he gasped, "Willow?"

"Who wants to know?" she asked, backing up a little, dragging Buffy with her as the blonde leaned on her.

"Willow and Buffy?" the man began to smile, seemingly ignoring Willow's question, he looked perfectly happy for no discernible reason, until he realised they were backing away from him, "You don't know who I am" he realised with a shake of his head, just as Buffy's legs buckled and she completely passed out.

In one movement, he stepped forward, caught the blonde girl in his arms and lifted her unconscious form off the ground, one arm around her back, the other underneath her legs.

"Not exactly how I planned to make my entrance" the stranger smirked to Willow as they headed for the front door of the house, "but my name is William Giles, and I'm your brother"

I can't believe I passed out without even knowing who my 'saviour' was, to be honest I barely remember anything even before my spell of unconsciousness! Willow filled in several blanks, and I'm glad she did. The next couple of hours would change our lives...

**__**

[Give me a couple of days and I should have the next chapter of 'One Wild Night' ready for posting :-)]


	13. You'll Never Believe 7th&8th Nov 2003

****

A/N : Thanx to everyone who reviewed; fashiongrrl, aphelant, SweetBitter, SpIkEs AnGeL, SlayGal, fictionfreak2, SouthernRain, buffspike, Michelle, Aleesha, courtney, Leanne8582. I am trying to keep the essence of the true characters in here despite them all being human, it's not an easy task, especially when I'm trying to write more or less the same characters in three different fics and all at the same time! Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, now that everyone is older and all back together...I have plans for it to all get more interesting...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 13 : You'll Never Believe... - 7th&8th November 2003

So, where was I?...oh yeah, unconscious. Not something to be proud of, I know, getting so drunk that I couldn't even remain awake was not the plan but it happened and there's very little I can do about it now. From what Willow and my parents told me, I figure this is more or less how it happened once we got into the house that night...

"Mom! Dad!" Willow yelled as she came in the door, her parents belting down the stairs at a rate of knots when they heard their daughters somewhat anguished cries.

"Willow, whatever's the matter...?" Giles began but soon noticed what the problem was as the red-head was followed into the house by a man carrying his other daughter who was in quite a mess.

"Oh my God, Buffy!" Joyce gasped running to the side of the couch as her daughter was laid her down there by he who carried her.

"It's alright, I think she'll be okay" the apparent stranger told the panicked woman as she attempted to bring her daughter around.

"Someone spiked the punch at the dance" Willow told her parents, almost guilty, despite the fact none of it was her own fault.

"Oh heavens..." Joyce shook her head as Buffy stirred "I'll put the coffee pot on" she decided, moving toward the kitchen as Giles took her place seated on the edge of the couch beside Buffy.

"And you are?" he asked the bleached blonde man who stood beside Willow still. William half smiled as he looked at the man he hadn't seen in almost eighteen years.

"Did sort of wonder if you'd recognise me...Dad" he said slowly and Giles' eyes went wide as dinner plates. He glanced to Willow who grinned delightedly and nodded madly, as the truth really sunk in to her father.

"William?!" he gasped, smiling now, the realisation that his son had come home of his own accord, well, it was not something he'd ever thought could happen. Getting to his feet, he faced his son, only a little shocked that they had the same eye level these days. Both unsure of what to do they eventually fell into a hug, bringing tears to both their eyes as well as Willows.

"Oh God" Buffy groaned bringing her hand to her head, making sure she was not forgotten for too long, though in all honesty she had no clue what was going on around her.

Joyce re-entered the room, just as her daughter stirred again and just after the two men had finished embracing each other. She had no clue what had just occurred.

"Buffy, come on, wake up" she urged as she again took her position on the couch beside her little girl.

"What happened?" the blonde wondered "Mom?" she guessed as the older woman leaning over her, came into better focus. Joyce was about the answer when she noticed the tears in her husbands eyes and the strange way he was staring at the other man in their living room.

"Rupert, are you okay?" she checked.

"Oh, Joyce...this is..." he stammered, unable to form the sentence.

"Mom" Willow got her mothers attention and made the explanation herself, "it's William" she smiled, gesturing toward the uncomfortable-looking bleached blond.

"Oh my goodness!" Joyce gasped, hand over her heart in a gesture of surprise. Buffy strained her neck to see the man everyone else was looking at but found it only made her feel nauseous. Realising though that it was probably the same guy that caught her when she almost fell she pulled on her mothers arm to get her attention.

"He, er, he saved me" she explained, still unaware of who she spoke about "I almost fell down..." she stopped momentarily before asking "Mom, why is the room spinning?"

Joyce rolled her eyes and turned to Giles, who honestly wasn't listening all that much.

"I can't believe she got drunk at a school dance, it's appalling"

"She'll be okay" William assured her "probably have a hell of a hangover in the morning if she's not used to the booze, but it'll pass" he explained "Been known to have a few myself..." he added cockily before realising it was his father he was saying this to and then felt somewhat ashamed. Giles didn't seem to notice.

"It's so wonderful to see you, son" he smiled but William's own grin had disappeared.

"Is it?" he asked with a slight frown, glancing between his feet and the man he had been given little opportunity to call Dad "I half wondered whether you'd want me here...you never did before"

"Oh no" Giles frowned, shaking his head violently "that's not true, not the way you think it is..."

"I think" Joyce interrupted "maybe the girls should go on up to bed...especially you, Buffy" she told her blonde daughter who didn't have the brain or body functions left to reply never mind argue.

"Here, I'll help" William offered, his own problems with his father momentarily forgotten as he came to the aid of the damsel in distress, again. He picked her up off the couch and followed Joyce and Willow up the stairs where he laid her on her bed and promptly left to go and have the talk with his father that had been many years coming.

Can't tell you what they said to each other, and believe me when I tell you I wish I could. If I'd have been more, well, conscious, I'd have been at the top of the stairs, ears wide open, absorbing everything that was said, but given my state of drunken-ness all I could do was follow the uneasy route to sleep, as my mother had quite clearly decided there was no point to the coffee and trying to sober me up at that time of night after all. I really wish Willow, for once in her life would have done the invading privacy thing but she's just too sweet and decent, I guess. Anyway, it didn't matter. What's more important is what happened in the morning and, despite the fact I almost wish I didn't, I remember that with perfect clarity...

Buffy opened her eyes only to promptly close them again as the sun streamed through the crack between her curtains and half blinded her. Her head was pounding less now but her stomach churned badly as she attempted to get from her laying down position, onto her feet. She was out of her homecoming dress now, she guessed that either Joyce, Willow or both had assisted her there but so far everything beyond dancing with Riley and more importantly drinking punch was a blur.

With slow and wobbly movements, Buffy tried to swallow back her nausea, as she pulled on her dressing gown and headed for the door. She opened it and stumbled over the threshold, feeling worse as her stomach jolted with the sudden movement.

"Mornin' sunshine" said a cheery, English voice, though she was pretty sure it wasn't Giles, "You feeling any better?" the same voice asked as she looked up into a pair of gorgeous blue eyes. For a second there was recognition. She knew those eyes, that voice, this man, but why and how and what was he doing outside her bedroom door?

"What...?" she began but soon realised opening her mouth was a bad idea.

"You do remember last night, don't you?" William asked her with a tilt of his head as she braced herself with a hand on the wall.

"I...oh God" she suddenly shoved her hand over her mouth and ran for the bathroom.

"Buffy!" Willow called as she emerged the other side of her brother and witnessed her sister disappearing into the bathroom.

"Don't fret, princess" he told her, "she'll feel better afterwards"

"Princess?" Willow looked strangely at him as she realised what he'd said, he looked a little nervous and worried that she'd noticed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." he stammered, looking away.

"No" Willow cut him off "I like it" she assured him with a smile, as he looked at her again "it's all...big brother-ly"

"Oh God" Buffy groaned, holding her head as she emerged from the bathroom, interrupting the sickly sweet brother-sister moment that was happening.

"Oh sweetie" Willow sighed, moving past William to put an arm around her sister "you feel better now?"

"Actually, yes" she realised "er, I'm sorry, who is he?" she whispered to her sister, almost as if the man wasn't standing right in front of her. Willow held back a laugh at the fact Buffy didn't seem to realise it was their brother that stood before them now.

"Buffy Giles" she introduced "this is William Giles"

"Er, it's Spike actually" he decided to tell the girls his nickname, being called William was making him strangely uncomfortable, he really wasn't that person anymore "no-one calls me William, 'cept the grandparents"

"I can't believe it" Buffy gasped, picturing the photo from the mantlepiece in her mind and comparing it to the man that stood before her. Could this really be the same guy?

"It's for real" Willow smiled, answering the question in Buffy's head, without even realising.

A smile past between the 'siblings' until Buffy's memories of the night before hit her like a punch in the face. She'd found this man attractive, her supposed brother! And truth be told, if she didn't know better, she'd still feel that way now.

"Hey, you got a hug for your sisters now?" Willow asked, realising that despite their status as family, they'd yet to get within a couple of feet of each other.

"Course, luv" Spike smiled, wrapping an arm each around both the girls. Willow hugged him back and although Buffy did too she was still a little dazed by everything.

"Breakfast for anyone who wants it!" a voice interrupted, it was Joyce who stood at the bottom of the staircase, reminding everyone it was time to eat.

"Food, now that sounds like a plan" Spike nodded, still keeping his arms around the girls as they headed for the stairs "bet you're hungry, right pet?" he asked Buffy who nodded as she realised she actually felt much better for throwing up and was now decidedly hungry. The three went down to breakfast and so their first full day as a family began, but could they really be that fantasy family they'd all thought they might be one day?

And there it is, how I met my brother who had turned from geekish, sweet-looking William, in the photograph on our mantle, to black-leather-clad, sexy-as-hell Spike, standing right in front of me. But he was my brother and despite the fact he was obviously attractive and gave me all kinds of worrying feelings just by looking at me, I was determined to get to know him and accept him as part of our family...now that was easier said than done...

__

To Be Continued...

****

[Next update will be; One Wild Night - Chapter 13]


	14. Like Sister and Brother 8th&9th Nov 200...

****

A/N : Here we go with a long-ish chapter of this fic. Thanx to SpIkEs AnGeL, Rachel, burningfairy, fashiongrrl, Lolly6, Aleesha, SlayGal, that annoying irish kid, JL4eva - for the reviews on chapter 13. Oh, and you may want to have breathing apparatus and anti-fainting devices on standby for later, I think you'll realise why when you read it...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 14 : Like Sister And Brother - 8th&9th November 2003

We'd spent several hours getting to know each other all over again, me and Willow and Spike. We found out how he'd loved living with his grandparents in England but he'd always wondered what it'd be like to be in his real home with us. He'd rebelled somewhat as he'd got older, as much as he loved his grandparents, he began to resent the fact he never knew his father properly, or his sister. The rebellion meant a lot of leather and bleach and attitude, and so it explained why the picture of the fourteen year old that we thought was our brother looked so different to the man that sat with us now. By lunchtime I had managed to get dressed and was feeling a whole lot better than I had been when I woke up. The whole family was doing a distinctly family thing in the afternoon, sitting around talking, reminiscing and looking at old photographs, when suddenly...

There was a knock on the door and Giles moved from the armchair to answer it, as his wife and children were far too engrossed in the pictures and the conversation. He smiled to himself as he glanced at them. His family; Joyce in the other armchair across the room, and William, who he must now learn to call Spike, in the centre of the sofa, his arms over the back behind Willow and Buffy, as everyone laughed. He loved that they were all back together like this and all looking so happy.

"Ah, Riley" Giles greeted the young man on the other side of the door, "Do come in" he invited moving aside to let Buffy's boyfriend into the house.

"Thanks, Mr Giles" Riley nodded, "I sort of need to talk to Buffy..." he trailed off as he looked into the living room and saw said girl laughing with a guy, a guy who had his arm around her.

"Oh, I didn't know you had company" Riley forced a smile despite the fact he hated seeing his girlfriend so close to another man. Last night had been bad enough, he couldn't seem to do anything right as Buffy got more and more inebriated and now...

"Riley" Buffy herself interrupted the boy's train of thought as she moved from her place on the sofa and came to talk to him, she dragged him into the dining room when she noticed her family, most specifically Spike it seemed, were watching her like hawks.

"Who is that guy?" the young man demanded as soon as they were in the next room.

"His name is Spike" Buffy told the irate boy, quite annoyed by him still, "and why does it matter anyway?" she asked, despite the fact it would have caused less of a problem just to say, 'he's my brother' but part of her just didn't want to admit that.

"I thought we had something Buffy" Riley shook his head, "I thought we were in love, but then last night it's like you can't stand the sight of me and today I come around and find you with another man"

"I was not _with_ another man" she protested, "I was just talking and laughing"

"And he had his arm around you" Riley pointed out as Buffy thought to herself 'Possessive, much?' Yet another of Mr Finn's annoying traits was suddenly showing and Buffy was beginning to notice just how long the list really was.

"Riley" she sighed, eventually, "you really want to know who he is? Well, his real name is William Giles"

"Giles?" the boy echoed, "You mean, as in William, your brother?"

"Yes, William Giles" she agreed, unable to say outloud that he was her sibling. It felt wrong in her head and she knew it would feel even worse coming out of her mouth.

Riley sighed and shook his head before making Buffy jump by wrapping her up in a suffocating hug.

"I'm sorry I doubted you sweetie" he told her, "I'm an idiot"

'Starting to believe that' a voice in Buffy's head sang, she tried to ignore it.

"It's okay" the blonde shrugged when her boyfriend finally released her, "and I'm sorry if I was off with you last night, it was the punch, someone must have spiked it" she explained, and Riley just nodded in response, before telling her his actual reason for coming over was to make sure she was okay after the drunken-ness.

"I was mad that you'd treat me like that but when Xander told me you'd gone home in such a mess I was worried" he told Buffy, advancing on her again.

"I'm fine" she half smiled as he hugged her again and then moved to kiss her. His lips hit hers, right when Spike entered the room.

"So, this is little sis' bloke then is it?" he said somewhat icily as he observed the boy who was trying to get his tongue into Buffy's mouth. Said girl pushed her boyfriend away and went bright red.

"I'm Riley Finn" he introduced himself, shaking hands with Spike.

"William Giles" came the bleach blonds own introduction, "but call me Spike, everyone does"

"I meant to ask about that" Buffy piped up, "Why do people call you Spike?"

"Long story, pet" he smirked as he passed through into the kitchen, making Buffy wonder why he didn't take the other route which would have meant not interrupting her boyfriend kissage.

"I should get going" Riley told his girlfriend, leaning down to kiss her goodbye, she turned her head and he got her cheek but didn't say anything about it. Buffy let out a sigh when he was finally gone. Why did he annoy her so much lately? Maybe she'd been fooled into liking him by his good looks, underneath that was a decent but completely boring and annoyingly possessive boyfriend that she was beginning to wonder if she liked that much after all.

"Your boy already gone?" Spike asked as he returned from the kitchen, passing by the front door on which Buffy's back was leaning.

"Yes, Riley has gone" she told him, with a further sigh as she wondered, why couldn't Riley look like Spike? 'No Buffy, bad thoughts about the guy that is supposed to be your brother!' she reprimanded herself and Spike frowned as he noticed the strange look on her face as her subconscious voices battled it out.

"You okay, luv?" he checked and she snapped out of it as his hand landed on her shoulder.

"Er, yeah" she stammered, smiling nervously, the way he was looking at her right now...he couldn't read minds, could he? She pushed all those kind of thoughts from her head just in case and the pair headed back into the living room, the afternoon soon returning to the way it had been before Riley showed up

It started to get late and everyone, most especially the girls, began yawning every five minutes, no wonder since it was past midnight and they hadn't even noticed.

"I'm going to bed" Buffy sighed, heading for the stairs but her mother stopped her.

"Hold on, sweetheart" she called to her, "I need you and Willow to share a room for a while whilst William, sorry, whilst Spike is here"

"Why?" Buffy frowned, her tired mind not calculating too well that the amount of people in the house now did not tally with the number of bedrooms.

"Well, he slept on the couch last night because of the state you were in but we can't very well expect him to be without a bed semi-permanently" her mother pointed out.

"It's fine Joyce, honestly" Spike shrugged "I'm okay with the couch, the girls shouldn't have to share at their age"

"I don't mind sharing" Willow assured her brother, "I mean, you should have a bed, and me and Buffy both have doubles so we can share and you can take the other one"

"That's sweet, princess" Spike smiled at his adorable sister "but what if Buffy doesn't want to share" he reminded her, causing everyone to look to the blonde.

"I don't mind" she shrugged and shook her head to emphasise her point, trying not to look directly at Spike whose eyes bored into her in a discomforting way.

"Then thankyou" he said to her, before turning to the entire room "you're very kind"

"You're part of this family William" Giles smiled, placing a hand on the younger mans shoulder "it is not a case of being kind, simply a case of doing what is right and proper". Everyone present saw the guilt there in the older man's eyes as he tried to communicate a silent apology to his son for all those times he had not done what was 'right and proper' when Spike was just a child.

It was two in the morning, and Buffy couldn't sleep. It wasn't because she was sharing a bed. Herself and Willow often fell asleep in the same bed as they talked and laughed at what their parents considered an unreasonable hour. No, it was thoughts of Spike that kept her from sleeping. Thoughts of him being in the next room, in her bed, and very possibly naked. If she saw him as the brother he was supposed to be it would be weird as hell, but seeing him in this frightening light of attractive as she did, well, sleep just wasn't happening due to some mental pictures she wished she could block.

Usually when she couldn't fall asleep, Buffy read one of the books she kept by her bed. She was pretty sure she could get away with turning on the lamp and not waking her sister, since Willow was sound asleep to the point of snoring like some kind of wild animal and nothing, with the possible exception of an atomic bomb, could wake her when she was like that.

Unfortunately, Buffy's books were kept in the cabinet by her own bed and not this one. If she wished to read she would have to fetch a book and that meant crossing a line, not just the physical threshold between the room she now slept in and her own room where Spike slept, but also some kind of metaphorical line since she would kind of be invading his privacy.

'But it's my room' she defended herself silently, 'why shouldn't I go in there and fetch my books?' She knew damn well why, but she did it anyway.

Creeping into her own bedroom via the adjoining door, Buffy ran her hand along the wall and tried to keep her balance as she silently tip-toed across the peach carpet. The curtains were not fully closed and a shaft of moonlight shone in through the window, like a spotlight on the bed that was Buffy's own, but tonight it was Spike that slept there. Buffy shoved her hand over her mouth and tried not to gasp too loudly as she noticed she was probably right in her earlier thoughts. Spike did sleep with nothing on, she realised, as she noted the thin cream-coloured sheet that rode low across his hips, leaving little to the imagination. The moonlight shone off every beautiful angle of his face and chest. Illuminated in the silver light, so still and quiet and barely breathing he might have been dead. She had no idea that he wasn't even sleeping...

Closing her eyes for a brief second and steeling herself against thoughts that were not of the good, Buffy moved quietly toward the bed-side unit. The hinge creaked ever so slightly as she opened the door, sounding ten times louder than it normally would, just because she was trying to be quiet. Inside of the cabinet was even blacker than the room, and Buffy squinted to see the books on the shelf inside. Reaching her hand in to pull out the volumes she wanted, she misjudged the distance and sent one lone book toppling out onto the floor next to her as she knelt there beside the bed. There was a thump as it landed and her eyes immediately shot over to look at Spike. He shifted position so he was facing her, but his eyes were still closed, he still slept she was sure...she was wrong.

As silence reigned, Buffy silently sighed and moved to retrieve the fallen book by her side. Immediately a hand shot out of the bed and grabbed her wrist. She turned and her hazel eyes met bright blue ones. She couldn't breathe.

"What are you doing, pet?" Spike asked her with just a hint of a smirk.

Swallowing hard, Buffy attempted to find her voice. She thought looking away from Spike's gaze would help but her eyes moved down his body and that only made things worse. His fingers around her wrist felt like they were burning her, but she didn't pull her hand away. 

"I can't sleep" she forced out, eyes closed because it was safer "I was looking for a book to read"

When he didn't answer she opened her eyes again and was surprised to see him smile as he finally let her wrist go.

"Want some help?" he offered with a tilt of his head and Buffy shook her head as she reminded herself what she'd been doing in there in the first place. The book. She went back to the cabinet to look and remembered she couldn't see what she was doing.

"That better?" Spike asked her, an orange glow capturing them both and the corner of the room as he turned on the lamp. The shifting of his body to turn on the light had made the sheet move, she knew, and Buffy was far too afraid to turn her head.

"Thanks" she mumbled, head in the cupboard, finally she emerged with the book, got up and turned fast, practically running from the room "Got it. Goodnight" she called in a whisper as she disappeared.

"'Night, luv" Spike smirked as he turned out the light and lie down again. She was a sweet girl, but he was glad they weren't really related. If they were, he was pretty sure he'd get locked up for the things he thought about her, hell, he could probably get locked up for thinking some of them anyway!

Buffy stood on the other side of the adjoining door, breathing heavily, her book clutched to her chest. She had just got majorly turned on by a guy that was supposed to be her brother! She was sick! There really had to be something wrong with her, she told herself as she went back to bed. Flipping on the lamp that she carefully angled so she could read her book and hopefully not disturb Willow, Buffy tried to force herself to concentrate on the words on the page. In the back of her mind, her thoughts were still whirling around, but she knew one thing for certain. Spike had to be her brother, she had to stop thinking about him any other way. She would force him into the role of her brother and then these inappropriate feelings would go away...at least, she hoped so.

My ridiculous avoidance of my feelings went on for almost a week, yet I had no idea Spike was hiding his emotions too. I thought he saw me as his sister, just like he saw Willow, but I was wrong. I was oblivious to the fact that I gave him the same scary feelings that he gave me, and as much as we did the sister-brother thing, arguing over breakfast cereal, throwing sofa cushions at each other, and fighting for the TV remote, there was always this underlying tension. I tried to force myself to see him as just a brother, and it almost worked but eventually, that tension would have to release itself, and that would only make things worse...

__

To Be Continued...


	15. Simple as ABC Attraction, Betrayal, Com...

****

A/N : Thought I was kidding with those warnmings on the previous chapter, didn't you? Til you got to the end, then I think we all realsied how serious I really was, lol. Thanx to; Aleesha, Rachel, fashiongrrl, courtney, Janie, buffspike, Leanne8582, SouthernRain, SlayGal, skybound, Spike's Hottie, for all the great reviews. I'm so glad I decided to write this fic, truth is I almost didn't! Well, I hope you like this next chapter, I loved writing it...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. see chapter 1)

Chapter 15 : Simple as ABC ~ Attraction, Betrayal, Comfort - 15th November 2003

Saturday night came around again, and as usual something was happening at the Bronze. Me and Riley (who were only barely still together), Willow and Oz, and, Xander and Cordelia, the whole of our gang would be there, ready to party, as always. Willow invited Spike, so thrilled to have her brother around, she wanted to spend every moment with him and he didn't seem to mind too much. His nickname for her, princess, kind of stuck, and I was stupidly jealous that I was just boring Buffy, no special name for me. Anyway, he accepted the offer to join us at the local club and finally meet all our friends, so far the only one he'd seen was Riley and I got the feeling he really didn't like him, after this fateful night, I wouldn't be Riley's biggest fan either...

"Why is he here?" Riley asked, somewhat nastily as he and Buffy danced together. He referred of course to Spike who was currently sitting at the table with Willow, Oz, Cordelia and Xander, drinking and laughing and generally being the centre of attention.

"Willow invited him" Buffy sighed, herself wondering why her 'brother' had to come tonight. She was still trying to force all bad thoughts of him out of her head but found it was like trying to push back the tide - more or less impossible.

As the song ended, the pair went back to the table where their friends sat. Riley offered to fetch drinks as a new, slower song started up. This prompted Cordelia and Xander, and Oz and Willow, to make their way out onto the dancefloor, leaving Buffy and Spike alone.

"So, you having fun?" he asked his 'sister'. She shrugged a reply.

"It's the Bronze, it's fun, but I come here all the time, it's hardly the most exciting thing in the world" she told him, as they watched her friends dance.

"And what is?" he wondered aloud, "The most exciting thing in the world for you, what would it be?"

She turned her head to look at him as his obscure question met her ears. Their eyes met and there was silence, her mouth refusing to open in case the truth fell out from her lips. Riley watched the two and their meaningful stare as he knocked back a large amount of the beer he'd managed to purchase.

"Drinking alone" a voice said off to his right, "that's a never a good sign for a good looking guy like you"

Riley turned to see Faith leaning against the bar, a suggestive smile on her lips. She was well known at Sunnydale High, despite the fact she barely attended. She was a rebel, a bit of a Goth, and a lot of a bad girl.

"You want something, Faith?" he asked her as she pushed herself off the bar and looked over at the girl Riley had been watching. Buffy Summers, she smiled evilly to herself, now there was a girl that needed to be brought down a notch or two.

"Depends what your offering" she answered Riley's question as she took the beer bottle from his hand, took a swig herself and put it back on the bar. She glanced back at Buffy to see her turn and look or her boyfriend now. When she was sure she'd seen him, Faith moved forward and brought her lips to Rileys, grabbing his wrists and forcing his arms around her body - he needed little encouragement.

When the dark haired girl finally moved away from the boy, Buffy was gone, running from the club with Spike shouting behind her. When she didn't stop running he went after her, but she was out of sight by the time he made it out of the doors.

When Buffy arrived back at Revello Drive, she was glad her parents were upstairs, not waiting in the living room for them to come home. She didn't want to explain her tears right now. Despite the fact Riley had been driving her nuts for the past week or more, it hurt to see him kissing another girl, especially someone like Faith.

"Buffy? Willow?" Joyce called from upstairs, after she'd heard the front door slam. The blonde couldn't deal right now. She moved straight through the house and out of the back door.

Spike entered the house just a moment later and Joyce was halfway down the stairs by now.

"Spike?" she frowned, "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing serious" he covered for Buffy, guessing if she hadn't gone straight to her mother with her problems, she obviously didn't want her to know right now, "Buffy just had a headache so I walked her home. Willow's still at the Bronze with her mates"

"Oh, okay" his step-mother smiled as she made her way back up the stairs, leaving Spike to look for Buffy. He found her on the porch steps, her head in her hands and he knew she was crying. Without a word he sat down beside her and gently put a comforting hand on her back.

"He doesn't deserve you, luv" he told her softly and she lifted her head to look at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"But I love him" she sniffed "or I thought I did" she shook her head and looked away for a moment "and I thought he loved me..."

"He's a fool for what he did to you, pet" Spike said comfortingly, as she leaned toward him and his arm went around her back.

"Thanks" she half-smiled as he squeezed her shoulders "You're sweet"

"Yeah, well, tell anyone that and I may have to inflict punishment" he smirked and she had a similar look on her own face now as she looked up at him, so close that their noses were almost touching.

"What could you possibly do to me?" she asked him, never expecting him to do what he did next. In one movement he brought his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, and for a moment Buffy was too surprised and even enjoying it so much that she didn't pull back. Then her brain functions kicked in and her whole body moved backwards.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, frowning a little, but mostly just surprised.

"What I've wanted to do for a while now..." Spike told her huskily, moving in to continue with what he'd started. Buffy brought up her hands to block his advance.

"But...but you're my brother..." she stammered, not only confused by the fact he wanted to kiss her that way, but also feeling so bad about the fact she felt something when he did. She hadn't thought he might like her that way, she'd guessed it was only her imagination when she thought he looked at her a certain way. Her own filthy mind playing tricks on her because she was feeling the attraction that caused so much guilt.

"Buffy? Spike?" a voice called and both people on the porch steps knew it was Willow, who had clearly followed them home after all. It really brought home to Buffy what had just happened between herself and Spike.

"Oh God..." she gasped, fresh tears in her eyes as she stood and ran, a hand to her mouth trying to wipe away what she'd done, but, as she ascended the stairs to her room, she could still feel tingles down her spine and the spinning in her head caused by the thrill of Spike's kiss.

To sum up, I felt sick. I barely slept that night, I was so panicked by what might happen, it was becoming far too real. I was so upset over Riley, and Spike was being so nice, just like I always thought my brother would be if I needed him, but when he kissed me...I hate myself for the feelings he made me feel, and I tried to hate him for making it happen, but I can't hate him, I love him too much for that. Anyway, I managed to avoid giving any explanation to Willow, since she assumed my tears were over Riley and Faith, and obviously Spike didn't tell her either. I started to think perhaps he'd regretted it too, which was both a wonderful and a horrible thing all at the same time. It's so hard to explain to you the conflicting emotions he managed to cause, but Spike mixed me up in all kinds of good _and_ bad ways. But still I was naive and thought I could just force him be the brother I wanted, it was far too late for that, of course, but it didn't stop me from stupidly trying...

__

To Be Continued...


	16. Get Over It 16th Nov 2003

****

A/N : Hey guys! Well, here's the latest chapter, which I hope you all enjoy! Thanx to; SweetBitter, buffspike, SpIkEs AnGeL, fashiongrrl, courtney, charles, SouthernRain, Leanne8582, SlayGal, Summersfan, inconditus, spikesfirstluv. I love all your kind words - you guys rock! One point to clear up though, Buffy and Spike are both aware that they're not blood related, but Buffy feels that she should treat him like a brother because she see's Willow as her sister and they're not blood related siblings either. Hope that makes sense! Hope you enjoy this new chapter! Hope you review!

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 16 : Get Over It -16th November 2003

I wanted a brother. It wasn't much to ask for, and in my head I already had one. William, who had gone to England at the age of almost five and was supposed to return some day and be all normal with books and glasses and brotherly affection. The reality was scary, in both it's good and bad forms. He wasn't William anymore, he was Spike. A gorgeous bad-ass, all cheekbones, leather, and dangerous accent, who didn't want me for a sister but for a conquest, or possibly a girlfriend, and I hated to even say it to myself but I wanted him too. I thought maybe it would be possible to make him be that brother he had always been inside my head. It took some arguing, (with myself and with him) but eventually I thought I got there...

Sunday should have meant that none of the young people at 1630 Revello Drive should have been up before noon. Problem was, sleep wasn't easy when your mind was filled by the person in the next room and thoughts of exactly what you'd like to be doing with them, especially when said person is supposed to be viewed as your sibling!

By eight thirty Buffy was up and dressed. She was still sharing a room with Willow so she'd got accustomed to dressing in the dark these last few days. Sleep hadn't come so easy on any night, since she now knew Spike was naked in the next room, it made relaxing a very complicated thing.

She was slightly surprised, as she made her way to the bathroom, to see her parents bedroom door still closed, it meant they were still sleeping which was unlike them even on a Sunday. Her Dad usually had a whole list of odd jobs he wanted to get done whilst he had the time and her Mom would be making breakfast and then lunch or helping out her husband. 

When she came out from the bathroom, Buffy headed downstairs, not sure whether she wanted to find Spike there or not. She heard a shout from the kitchen which left no doubt in her mind that Spike was indeed in there, since Giles would never curse so colourfully.

As she entered the room she found him with his hand under the cold running water, his back to the door so he did not see her come in.

"You burn yourself?" she asked quietly, but he still jumped, not expecting anyone to be right behind him.

"Buffy..." her name was all he managed to say, not knowing where to begin after the events of the night before. She seemed to ignore the fact that he wanted to say anything as she walked over and took his hand out from under the faucet, inspecting the side of his thumb where the skin was red.

"I think you'll live" she told Spike as she pushed his hand back under the cool stream of water, "Just keep it under there for a little while longer"

She knew his eyes were boring into her, so she didn't look up, decided just to turn her back on him and fetch the orange juice from the refrigerator. He watched her pour some into a glass, knowing she probably didn't want it but that she'd use any excuse not to look at him.

"Look" he said eventually, pulling his hand from beneath the cold water as it started to go completely numb, "I think we should talk" he told the blonde who put the juice carton back where it came from, keeping her back to him always.

"About what?" she asked with a shrug.

"You know about what, Buffy" he said almost angrily as his hand went to her arm and pulled her around to face him "about last night" he told her a lot more calmly and softly "the kiss" he all but whispered as Buffy pulled her arm away and moved around the other side of the counter.

"It's okay" she mumbled "it's forgotten" knowing it was a complete lie, but just wanting all this to be over.

"But I don't want to forget it!" Spike practically yelled before remembering the rest of the house was asleep and it would be better if they remained that way at least until he and his 'sister' had figured all this out "Buffy, I like you" he said, his volume severely decreased as he walked around the counter "I like you a lot" he admitted as he advanced on her and she really had nowhere to go "I never expected to feel like this about you but..."

"Of course you didn't expect to feel like this!" she interrupted with an angry whisper, her own guilt powering her more than anything else "You shouldn't feel like this!" she told him waving her hands in wild gestures "You are my brother for God sakes" she said, slipping away from him and pacing the room "William _Giles_, Buffy _Giles_" she pointed to him and then herself "you seeing the connection yet?" she asked him with that look on her face that said 'duh!'

Spike couldn't help being so angry at her right then, as much as he cared for her, she was being a infuriating bint and before his brain even registered he opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out.

"Buffy, he is not your father. Your father is dead!"

He didn't see her hand coming, was only really aware she had slapped him because of the almighty sound it made when her fingers struck his cheek. He didn't blame her, what sort of thing was that to say to a girl, a girl he supposedly cared so much about.

"How can you talk to me like that?" she choked out, tears streaming down her face, yet despite the fact his words had hurt her she felt sick for hitting him that way.

"Oh luv, I'm sorry" Spike sighed, instantly forgiving her for her actions, his thoughtless words had made him deserving of that "I didn't think..." he said, taking a step toward her.

"No" she spat, backing up a step, and holding a hand up to stop his advance "it seems like you never do" she said with a shaky voice "I know Dad...Giles, is not my biological father, but I'm never going to know the man who was" she swallowed hard as she continued "I was raised by him as his own child, just like Willow was raised by Mom. We're a family William" she told him, daring a step toward him this time "we were before you got here and we still are now, with or without you" her voice was barely a whisper as she wiped her own tears away.

"Buffy..." was all Spike could say, feeling awful for what he'd said to her, even worse for making her cry, and worse than that because it seemed she regretted the kiss they'd shared, she loved him only as the brother he should be.

"I'd like it better if it were with you" she told him, a hint of a smile on her lips as she explained, remembering her fantasies about the perfect family which included William "I was told so often about my older brother and how wonderful he was. I'd like a chance to find out for myself just what a great person you are, I need you to be the brother I imagined you always would be" she said, daring to reach out and take hold of his hand in hers "Can you do that, for me?" she asked.

"I'd do anything for you, pet" he replied, hating the fact he felt nothing like brotherly affection for her, that he felt a whole different kind of love that she didn't want. She shocked him when she smiled and reached up to hug him. He hugged her back, holding on tightly for as long as he could, knowing he'd never get closer than this to her.

"Thankyou" she said sincerely as she pulled away, and again the uncomfortable feelings descended as they stood too close to each other. Buffy had hugged him like a sister, but the feelings she got were very much of the non-sisterly type as he'd wrapped his arms around her body.

"I'm sorry, for what I said" Spike told her honestly, he really did feel bad for that, although a part of him wished he'd have phrased it better so she would have understood, they were not brother and sister not really.

"I know" Buffy nodded, she believed him, as she turned and left the room. She wasn't sure where she was going when she got the other side of the door, but she knew she couldn't be around Spike right now.

It was pure hell, telling this guy that he was my brother and that I didn't want him to feel anything more than family type affection for me. It was all lies, and when I hugged him, a part of me wished he'd have taken advantage and kissed me again. If I'm honest I don't know if I would have been able to stop him a second time. Anyway, it was done now and I figured if we both tried really hard we could be brother and sister, nothing more and nothing less. I don't know if he thought the same thing, but if he did, that makes two of us who were so naive...

__

To Be Continued...


	17. Men 17th Nov 2003

****

A/N : Short chapter for now, which I apologise for, but I am desperately trying to get One Wild Night and Trouble With Boys finished off and I have big events to resolve in both. This fic is gonna go on for a few chapters yet, lots of interesting stuff still to come! Thanx to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter; SweetBitter, uandme4eternity, SpIkEs AnGeL, SouthernRain, courtney, SlayGal, Summersfan, buffspike, Leanne8582, fashiongrrl. Oh and how did Spike burn his hand? Yes fashiongrrl, he was being sweet and making breakfast. Isn't he just a darling? ;-) Read and review if you please! ;-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 17 - Men -17th November 2003

Monday came quickly, but not fast enough. I wanted the excuse of school to get me out of the house, away from temptation if I'm completely honest. I caught Spike looking at me several times, and not in a brother-looking-at-his-sister kind of away, believe me. I sneaked looks at him too, though I felt so guilty for feeling what I felt when I did look that I tried to avert my eyes most of the time. Anyway, Monday, Will and I headed off to school and as soon as we arrived Riley was waiting for me...

"Buffy" Riley greeted the blonde as she approached the school entrance with Willow by her side, "I've been waiting for you...I think we need to talk"

"You want me to go?" Willow checked and her sister nodded.

"I'll see you by the lockers in a minute" she told her as the red-head nodded back and walked away, "Say what you have to say Riley" Buffy said, a little irritated. He had effectively cheated on her after all.

"I need to apologise, for what happened at the Bronze" the tall young man told her, "I know it's no excuse but, I had a couple of drinks and I wasn't in the best of moods, then Faith she..."

"Riley" Buffy interrupted, holding her hand up to halt his words, "It's okay" she found herself saying, despite her better judgement, "I know what Faith can be like..I know it's not your fault"

Inside her head, Buffy was laughing at what a prize idiot she was being. Yes, it was true, Faith was a complete Goth-slut and odds were she really did come on to Riley, but either way Buffy had known since yesterday she would end up forgiving her boyfriend. Without the defence of having a boyfriend like Riley, the girl was open to attack from her own bad thoughts as well as Spikes.

"You forgive me?" Riley gasped, a little surprised.

"I do" Buffy sighed, "We're cool, okay?"

"Thankyou" came Riley's answer, "I'd never deliberately do anything to hurt you" he told her honestly, picking up her hand in his.

"I know" Buffy half-smiled, "me either" she told him, as they walked into the building together to find Willow and their other friends.

I know, I did a stupid thing, but I needed that other reason against my having a 'relationship' with Spike, and having a boyfriend helped. Of course, I guessed when my 'brother' found out I was dating the guy who cheated on me he was gonna hit the ceiling. I wasn't wrong. Here's what happened Monday night...

"Where are you going?"

Buffy jumped at the sound of a voice, belonging to the man that had just been filling her mind. She turned to see Spike leaning in her doorway, a questioning look on his face.

"To the Bronze" she told him simply, checking her hair and make-up in the mirror.

"With who?" came her 'brother's second question and Buffy inwardly cringed as she knew she was going to have to answer him honestly.

"With Riley" she said almost inaudibly, keeping her back to him, waiting with her eyes closed for the explosion of Vesuvius type proportions she knew was coming.

"Tell me you're not dating that wanker again!" and there it was, Buffy was sure from the volume and tone of Spike's voice that she would definitely see smoke coming from his ears if she turned around and looked at him, "after what he did to you!" Spike continued to rave and Buffy suddenly felt she needed to defend her man.

"He didn't do anything wrong!" she protested, spinning on her heel to face the man in the doorway, no longer casually leaning there, but standing straight and looking angry, "He'd had a couple of drinks and Faith came onto him!"

Spike almost laughed at how ridiculous it was for a smart girl like Buffy to accept such a stupid excuse from the git.

"Oh so he used that old line, did he?" he smirked, "That's right up there with 'I slipped and my tongue fell in her mouth'"

Buffy looked daggers at him as her eyes teared up, she was so angry at him for saying such things about her boyfriend and for daring to love her the way he did when she just wanted him to be the sibling she craved.

"He's playing you for a fool, luv" Spike said more gently, as he noticed her tears, stepping into the room toward her, he reached to take her hand, "Why can't you see it?"

Snatching her hand away from his reach, Buffy finally found words enough to say.

"You wanna know what I see?" she said quietly angry, "I see a guy in front of me who is supposed to be my brother and who is supposed to care about my happiness..."

"You know I care, Buffy" Spike's voice came out in a whisper that was almost unrecognisable as his own. He really wished she would see past this fantasy family idea that she had. He would be her brother if he could, he'd expected their relationship to be that way, but he couldn't bury his emotions for her, anymore than he could live forever.

"If you care so much" Buffy said, on the verge of tears, he was sure, "Then for God's sake leave me alone and let me be happy" with that she pushed past him and walked out of the room and Spike closed his eyes and sighed. 

Part of him understood her problem with him liking her that way, but there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it and deep down he knew she felt the same way. Little things had given him the original hope that she might be falling for him too, just the looks she gave him, odd things she said, but since the kiss they'd shared, it had become so much more than that. She was not that good of an actress he was sure, he knew she felt something then and he was determined to make her admit it now, if it was the last thing he ever did.

It's not looking good is it? Well, as the night went on, it only got worse...

__

To Be Continued...

****

Coming soon to a FF.net page near you... 

Chapter 17 of One Wild Night 

Will Spike and Buffy overcome all the obstacles and end up together???


	18. Jealousy 17th Nov 2003 again

****

A/N : A quick thanks to those who reviewed; SweetBitter, buffspike, aphelant, thatannoyingirishkid, Rachel, SpIkEs AnGeL, SouthernRain, Leanne8582, SlayGal, Courtney37. Thanks! Just to explain something that might cause confusion. In this fic the Present Day will be 18th November 2003 because when I planned the dates of this, it never occurred to me that it'd take so long to write! lol. Oh well, this chapter is longer than the last one and I'm pretty sure you're all gonna love it. Please review and let me know what you think...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 18 : Jealousy - 17th November 2003 (again)

The atmosphere was electric at the Bronze and all I wanted to do was dance, hoping stupidly that I could dance my cares for Spike right out of my body with every shimmy and shake. It should have helped that Riley was there, holding me close on the slow songs and really throwing himself into the rhythm of the faster ones, but all I could do when his hands touched my skin was wonder what it would feel like to dance like this with Spike? And it was worse when we kissed, the memory of the kiss I shared with 'my brother' burned onto my lips and my mind, never to be equalled by anything my boyfriend could do now, but I needed to feel something with Riley, needed to drown out what I felt for Spike and that's just what I did...well, maybe not...but points for intent, right?

Buffy's eyes flicked towards the entrance and she immediately wished they hadn't. Spike strode purposefully in through the doorway, dressed all in black and coat swinging out behind him, bleach blond hair slicked back and bright blue eyes shining. Buffy felt a mixture of jealousy, annoyance, and a terrible wanting, as she watched him smile and wink at a few girls that caught his eye, before taking a seat at the bar and ordering a drink.

"What's up?" Riley asked as he followed his girlfriends line of sight and spotted Spike on a bar-stool across the room, "Oh, him" he said grumpily, "Did you wanna go say hi or something?" he offered, determined not to be stupidly jealous of his girlfriends relationship with her brother, of course he had no idea what a threat this man really was.

"A whole world of no" came Buffy's answer, looking back to her boyfriend, but knowing without even moving her eyes that Spike had seen her and was now watching every move she made. He wanted to spy on her? Well then, she'd give him something to see. Her hands went up behind Riley's head, pulling him into a long and lingering kiss that took the boy's breath away and made Spike want to pummel the bloke and heave at the same time!

'But two can play that game' he suddenly realised as Buffy shot him a self-satisfied smirk. She was doing this just to get at him, and that only proved how much she really liked him. Spike's eyes travelled across the dance floor and landed on a tall brunette, dancing too slow for the rhythm of the song that was playing, as if she had her own tune in her head. When she saw Spike looking at her, she winked in sultry fashion and beckoned him to come over. Glancing at Buffy who seemed determined to get as close as possible to that enormous hall monitor she was dating, he went to the mysterious woman who was all too eager to get to know him.

"And what's your name, pet?" he asked as they danced together.

"Does it matter?" she asked, pressing herself against him, clearly talking was not on her mind. As much as Spike wanted to make Buffy jealous as she was making him, he didn't want to go too far with this girl, she apparently had other ideas.

"Er, well, it'd be nice to know what to call you" he smiled, trying to keep at least a little distance between them and failing miserably, "I'm Spike, by the way"

"My name's Drusilla" she whispered, her tongue lingering around his ear, "The stars are telling us to make sweet music together little Spike" she told him.

"The stars?" he arched an eyebrow, starting to wonder why he'd decided this was a good idea. Either this woman was on something illegal or she was just completely sack of hammers. 

Before he had a chance to make a decision one way or the other, a small hand grabbed his arm and pulled him across the room.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Buffy asked loudly as soon as she'd dragged her 'brother' under the balcony.

"Er, I think I was dancing, luv" he smirked, knowing he'd got to her and loving it, "Much the same as you and your boy were" unable to resist making a dig at the idiot he added, "Where is the stupid git anyway?"

"Riley is in the men's room, not that it matters" Buffy snapped, not really annoyed that he would dare insult her boyfriend but so angry he would get so close to some whore right in front of her!

"Doesn't matter to me, pet" Spike shrugged, "Just wondered why you're suddenly dragging me into dark corners" he smirked as he added, "unless you thought..." the look on his face adequately said the rest of his sentence for him and Buffy hated herself for wanting him so much. 

Without a word, she grabbed his arm and pulled as she walked backwards til her back hit the wall right underneath the balcony. Bringing her hands up to his face, she pulled him to her and kissed him like she really wanted too, she just couldn't stand there denying all she felt anymore, it was killing her and seeing him with that weird girl, getting up close and personal, it had been the final straw.

Spike was losing himself in all that he was feeling, but he was also all too aware of what was happening. Buffy was playing him. Here they were in the dark, showing each other how they felt but hiding it from everyone else still. Plus she made this huge deal about how disgusting he was for kissing her, but here she was, with her tongue down his throat and that was fine. It could not work that way. 

Using all the strength he could muster, Spike pulled away from her and took a couple of steps back.

"Doesn't work this way, pet" he forced out, trying to get his breathing back to normal just as she was, "We do this or we don't, but you can't keep blowing hot and cold on me"

Buffy's eyes went wide as she saw Riley walking towards them. Spike was being infuriating but there was no way she could go and spend time with her boyfriend now, have him hold her and kiss her, and not spend the whole time wishing it was Spike she was with.

"We have to get out of here" she said, quickly moving to the door and hurrying out. Spike turned, saw Riley coming, and needed no encouragement to chase after the blonde he had such a love for now.

It was a short walk from the Bronze to the Giles residence, and Buffy managed to maintain her short lead in front of Spike the whole way back. She slammed into the house, glad her parents were having dinner with friends tonight and probably staying over, it meant she had time to deal with Spike without interruption, it was early and Willow wouldn't be home for a couple of hours yet at least.

"We have got to sort this out luv" Spike sighed as he followed her into the house, pushing the door closed behind them. Suddenly she was right up in his face and shouting.

"How dare you come here and disrupt my life?!"

She was confused and drowning in all that she was feeling for Spike. The love and the wanting she had for him, the guilt and feeling of wrong-ness that were products of that, and a whole load of other stuff she couldn't even begin to puzzle out. She took it out on him, by yelling and blaming him for making her feel this way. She had to blame someone, he was the only one there, but by getting angry herself she only made him angry too.

"Listen to me, Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou" Spike yelled at the top of his lungs, so sick of this playing around "You think I like the fact that I want you so damn much?" he raved as he removed his coat and threw it across into the living room "You think I came here thinking 'oh yeah, I think I'll seduce my step-sister, that'll be fun for the whole family' I never meant to fall for you"

"Fall for me?" Buffy echoed much more quietly than she'd spoken before, she knew he liked her, wanted her, but... "You don't, I mean..." she stammered. She'd thought perhaps she loved him but that he might feel that way for her...

"Love you?" Spike almost laughed at himself "Yeah, God help me but I bloody do, and damn well not like a sister either!" he pointed out making sure she understood. He would have loved to have her say it right back to him, for a moment thought maybe she would, but the look on her face was just all confusion and shock. He couldn't bear to stand there waiting for words that weren't coming. He pushed passed her and ran up the stairs to the room that could be construed as both his and hers right now.

Snapping out of her momentary daze, Buffy suddenly found her anger again and raced after Spike, slamming into the room behind him.

"If you love me so damn much why were all over that slut back at the Bronze?" she demanded to know.

"She wasn't a slut" he lied, not really knowing why he was bothering "she was just a girl who actually wanted to be in the same room as me" he said nastily.

"And you think I don't want you?" Buffy said incredulously "You'll never know..." she trailed off as she realised what she was saying. That kiss at the Bronze should have shown him just how much she wanted him, but a part of her really wished she hadn't done it, it had only made things more confusing.

"I'll never know what, Buffy?" Spike pressed, needing to know for sure. She couldn't tell him, just couldn't find the words, so she showed him just like she had back at the night-club. With nothing to stop them in that moment and neither willing to pull away, within minutes things were moving faster than either had thought it might.

They were lying together on a bed that could be called theirs although they'd never actually spent the night in it together. It seemed tonight might change all that, as outer clothing disappeared and still neither wanted to stop.

As Buffy lay back on the bed and Spike hovered over her, she nervously admitted;

"I've never..."

"We don't have to" he assured her, though he wasn't sure he could stop now even if she asked him too. He was glad when she shook her head slightly.

"No, I want to" she told him, "I love you" before bringing their lips back together and kissing him soundly. She gasped as he pulled back, running a trail of kisses down her throat, his hands roaming over her body all the time.

"Love you too" he mumbled against her skin, "So much"

No more words came after that, just the exhilarating motion of two bodies becoming one, bringing forth explosive feelings on both sides, making for a glorious night that they would never forget.

****

That was last night, and truth be told I've never felt anything as wonderful as those feelings Spike evoked in me. For that time it didn't matter who or what we were supposed to be, we were with each other, and the only two people in the world. Of course, this morning, reality was back, bigger and brighter and more firghtening than ever before, as we had to face what we'd done...

__

To Be Continued...

****

A/N2 : So, do we have anything to say about this chapter? Reviews, please! :-)


	19. Shattered 18th Nov 2003 Present Day

****

A/N : Hey guys. Well, here is the new chapter as promised. I would have posted it last night only I suddenly had this idea of a season 6 ficlet I wanted to write so even though this chapter was finished I completely forgot to post it! You can expect that little fic that got me side-tracked to appear later too. I want to thank Courtney37, SweetBitter, samicax, buffspike, Spikelover11, Leanne8582, uandme4eternity, SpIkEs AnGeL, Rachel, aphelant for all the great reviews on the previous chapter. Just so you know, even though we've hit the present day, this is so not the end! Not sure what you're going to think of this chapter, please review at the end ;-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19 : Shattered - 18th November 2003 (Present Day)

When I woke up this morning, just for a second I was in heaven, lying next to this perfect man with sweet memories of the night before fresh in my mind, but there were too many reminders in that room of our true relationship. I felt sick all over again as a voice in my head reminded me I was supposed to treat this guy like my brother. I turned and looked over at him, lying there beside me. He was still sleeping, looking so perfect, and despite the fact my stomach was churning and my head was telling me what a terrible thing I'd done, there was this calm and happy part of me that just loved him so much and was so glad that the night before had happened the way it had. His body shifted beside me as he woke up, interrupting my silent thoughts...

"Mornin' luv" Spike whispered to Buffy, a smile on his lips as his memory flooded back and sleep subsided.

"Hi" came her barely audible reply, he knew without asking why she looked so panicked, and it wasn't just because he was the first man she had given herself too. It was the fact she believed she should treat him like a sibling, not a lover.

Reaching out a hand, he pushed some hair off of her face, running his fingers through the blonde strands and down over her shoulder.

"We did nothing wrong, baby" he told her, "I love you, you know that" he assured her.

"I love you too" she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed as he moved closer to her and kissed her lips, his fingertips running over her skin, making her shiver in that glorious way, like the night before. 

After a moment he moved back and just looked at her, drinking her in, wondering at these feelings he had for her, unlike anything he'd ever felt for anyone else before. He saw some worry in those eyes of hers, but he saw a lot of love too, still he had trouble figuring her out completely and a part of him liked that.

"Tell me what you're thinking" he said, still running a finger lightly up and down the length of her arm. Her eyes wandered over his face and body and without really thinking she blurted out precisely the words that were in her mind;

"You're beautiful"

"Not what I expected" Spike grinned, leaning towards her, "but you're sexy when you blush" he told he as her face went pink. She looked away, embarrassed, but his fingers moving into her hair brought her attention back to him.

"In fact" he said softly, leaning in closer, finger tips still tracing patterns on her neck and shoulder, "you're sexy and beautiful and wonderful all the time" he told her, punctuating every other word with a kiss across her face, ending on her lips, "And I love you" he whispered into that final kiss, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her close to him as she responded to his touch.

"I love you too" she gasped between kisses, surrendering to her feelings and pushing away her fears, as last nights main event looked set to get it's encore.

Downstairs there was a knock at the front door, the sound of which was drowned out in the bedroom above by overpowering passion, thumping hearts, and moans of pleasure. In all the confusion, no-one had locked the front door last night and so the visitor simply pushed and it opened. Slightly concerned that the door had been left so insecurely closed all night, he cautiously crept inside. His entry was not noticed, neither was his exploration of the ground floor or his ascension of the stairs.

Spike and Buffy were half way to heaven when the bedroom door flew open, revealing a very shocked and fairly angry young man on the other side.

"Riley!" Buffy gasped, immediately rolling away from Spike and pulling the sheets tight around her body, the reality of what she'd done, and was doing, suddenly hitting home all too hard.

Spike didn't know what to do or say as Riley turned and stormed away, Buffy chasing after him, throwing on her robe as she ran, practically falling down the stars as she desperately chased her boyfriend.

"Buffy!" she heard Spike call behind her but she didn't stop, running out of the front door and watching with tears running right down her face as Riley's car pulled away from the house, only to be replaced by Oz's car pulling into the drive. 

As Buffy sobbed, her knees threatening to give way beneath her, Willow jumped from the car before it had barely stopped and Oz was soon there too.

"Buffy, sweetie, what on Earth happened?" the red-head asked, shocked and scared by the sight of her sister, barely dressed and crying her heart out on the front lawn. The blonde fell into her sisters arms and as Willow hugged her close she glanced over at Spike who now stood in the doorway, wearing only a pair of black jeans that weren't fastened correctly.

"Let's go inside" the red-head said quietly to her sister, leading Buffy back toward the front door. Oz followed his girlfriend, glancing between Spike and Buffy and the road that Riley's car had just sped down - it was all very confusing

Once inside, both Willow and her boyfriend noticed how Buffy would barely even look at Spike and that said bleach blond looked kind of messy in appearance, the look on his face said he was very mixed-up about things right now - Buffy was about to make things very clear…

"Willow, I did such a terrible thing" she sobbed as Willow sat on the couch and held her, "I made this horrible mistake and I don't know what I'm gonna do"

The two red-heads shared a look and all the puzzle pieces fell into place in both their heads.

"I'll go make some coffee" Oz suggested, slipping away to the kitchen as Willow held Buffy tighter and she cried her heart out. Everyone seemed to be oblivious to Spike and the pain he was in. Every word Buffy had just said, hit him in the heart with a force stronger than any physical blow. He felt sick and hurt, and guilty though he wasn't sure why he should. He knew he'd done nothing wrong. He hadn't forced her to be with him and she wasn't actually related to him. They were two people in love, both adults and completely free to do what they pleased, (well maybe not completely free, but he wasn't thinking about Riley right now) They had shared the night and shown each other how much they loved each other in the most natual way in the world, and now she was disgusted, both with herself and with him, and he couldn't stand it.

Spike ran back up the stairs to the room he'd been so happy in last night, the sight of which now made him want to heave. He couldn't live like this, there was no way. He wouldn't do it to himself or her. He had to get out.

Oz returned to the living room with coffee and Willow had managed to calm her sister down to a modest extent. The boy offered to leave and come back later and Willow shot him an apologetic look. She'd done something similar to what Buffy had last night, only she'd woken in the morning with no regrets at all, only joy and contentment, knowing in her heart that she would be with Oz forever and never stop loving him.

Leaving Buffy sipping at coffee she took her boyfriend outside of the front door to kiss him goodbye. Willow apologised for the way things were this morning and thanked Oz for the beautiful night before. They shared another kiss before he left and as the red-head re-entered the house she found Spike halfway down the stairs with a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" her question caught Buffy's attention too and the blonde looked out from the living room into the hall.

"I don't know, anywhere" was all Spike said as he hurried down the last few stairs and was out of the door before Willow could ask another question. Buffy began to sob all over again and her sister was torn between comforting one of her siblings or the other.

As she glanced to Buffy and then back out of the still open front door, she realised Spike was already out of her sight, and with no way of knowing where he was going she couldn't really follow. Closing the door she hurried back to the couch, taking her sister in her arms again.

"Oh Willow, I never meant for it to happen" the blonde sobbed, "but I felt things and so did he and we couldn't fight it anymore, I know it's awful but..."

"Ssshh, it's okay" the red-head soothed. In all honesty, she'd seen looks pass between her siblings but it'd never occurred to her they liked each other all that much. If they did, Willow wondered, how did she feel about that, and she realised all she wanted was their happiness. If that meant them being together, sure it was a little weird but, she could deal. They weren't really blood related so it was not half so icky as it would seem at first glance.

"Buffy, don't go crazy on me but..." she began carefully "y'know he's not really your brother, not biologically, so why feel so bad?" she asked, watching her sister's expression and trying to judge what her answer might be like.

"Because..." Buffy sniffed "if I admit he's not my brother, it means you're not really my sister and Dad isn't Dad either..." her voice trailed away and the tears would not subside.

"Oh sweetie" Willow sympathised, feeling Buffy's pain and wishing she could help as she hugged her tightly and rubbed her back soothingly. She'd thought that the return of her brother would be this great and happy family event, but look at the trouble it had caused. Still, she did love having him around, and now he was gone to God knows where and for who knows how long?

When Buffy finally stopped shaking and crying, Willow sat her up straight and said she needed to make a phone call. Her parents would probably still be at their friends house, and she needed them here. They always knew what to do in situations like these, not that there had ever been a situation quite like this one, but somebody had to do something, before their family completely fell apart.

**__**

Now here I am, sitting in my living room, no tears left to cry and no emotion left to feel. I want Spike so badly, and I know that I'm in love with him, I never would have allowed last night to happen the way it did if I wasn't sure about that. But there's still this part of me that feels so ashamed, because he was supposed to be my brother and if he's not, well then it's like I said to Willow, she's not my sister and Giles isn't my Dad, and that means that apart from my Mom I'm alone. I know it doesn't make too much sense, but I love my family and admitting that I'm not related to Spike, means admitting that my life is a lie. Oh God, my parents car just pulled into the drive, they have the worst timing ever...what the hell am I going to say to them?

__

To Be Continued...


	20. Family

****

A/N : Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter; Rachel, SouthernRain, SpIkEs AnGeL, fashiongrrl, Courtney37, buffspike, SlayGal. I know I'm being kinda mean to Spikey in this fic, but y'know I still love him really ;-) Hope you guys like this next chapter. Please review! :-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 20 : Family

I see my parents coming up the path. I'm not sure whether to run upstairs and hide for a while, but I can't leave Willow to explain, that's just not fair. No, I got myself into the mess I'll have to get myself out...but how am I supposed to tell my Dad that I just slept with his son? How do I tell my Mom that I slept with anyone?

"Joyce you know I didn't mean..." Giles carried on his conversation with his wife as they came through the front door, only to be confronted by a panicked-looking red-head, "Willow?" the man frowned before his eyes travelled around the room and landed on his other daughter "Buffy? Whatever is going on?" he asked them, causing the blonde to burst into noisy sobs all over again.

"Buffy, sweetheart" said Joyce as she quickly moved to sit beside the distressed girl "Whatever's happened?" she asked, as she pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Mom, I'm sorry" was all the girl managed to say as she shook and cried more salt water than she knew her body possessed.

Seeing that she was in no fit state to elaborate, Giles turned to Willow for further explanation, something she was willing to give but not in front of her sister. Tugging on her father's sleeve, Willow silently asked him to follow her to the kitchen. Once there she took a deep breath and began;

"Dad...Spike and Buffy, they...well, it's really kind of funny" she laughed nervously, fingers fidgeting together in front of her chest as her feet bounced all by themselves "did you notice how they get along really well and smile at each other a lot and stuff?"

"I confess I haven't noticed them getting on any better than you and he do" her father shrugged, wondering what any of this had to do with the state Buffy was in right now "but I'm glad they're friends, they are brother and sister after all" he added.

"You might not wanna repeat that in front of Buffy" Willow told him with a pained expression, she took a breath and added "Dad, she loves him and he loves her"

There was a silent moment when Giles looked a little bewildered and Willow wondered whether to expect shock, anger, confusion, or all of the above. She did not expect what he actually said.

"Well, surely thats a good thing" he smiled but also shook his head, still trying to understand the point of this conversation.

"No, no, no" Willow repeated over and over, a little annoyed and a lot nervous "not like I love them and you love them" she tried to explain more clearly "like you love Mom...and like I love Oz" she added quietly. 

The floor tiles became very interesting and Willow waited for her fathers reaction which this time should definitely be one of the aforementioned list. There could be no doubt now, that he knew precisely what the feelings were between Buffy and Spike, or at least as precisely as Willow did.

"Good heavens...how...?" Giles went down with a thump onto a stool by the counter as he removed his glasses from his face "I mean...oh good Lord" he rambled away to himself as he removed his handkerchief from his pocket and began polishing the lenses of his spectacles. Willow continued to fidget nervously beside him.

"Well, they're not blood related, not really" she tried to help "and I guess they were just...attracted and stuff happened and..."

"'Stuff' happened?" Giles snapped out of his daze and looked directly at his decidedly jumpy daughter who immediately wished she'd kept her big mouth shut.

"I really think Buffy should be telling you this" she said quickly as she watched her father rub his glasses more violently, she was sure the force would break them if he didn't stop soon.

"I have a feeling she is in no fit state, and with good reason if I'm understanding you correctly" he said, now comprehending from the look on Willow's face precisely what had happened between his son and adopted daughter "She and Spike spent the night, yes?" he asked uneasily, finally putting away his hanky and placing his glasses back on his nose, much to Willow's relief.

"I think so, yeah" she admitted, eyes on her shoes. It was kind of embarrassing talking to her Dad about anyone 'spending the night', but it was most especially awkward given it was effectively her brother and sister she was speaking of.

With a deep breath Giles stood up again and encouraged his daughter to follow him back to the living room, where Joyce still held Buffy who had yet to stop sobbing.

"Buffy?" her adoptive father said gently, kneeling down on the carpet in front of her, trying to see her face that was currently buried in her mother.

"Rupert, I can't get any sense out of her" Joyce said worriedly as her husband gave in and stood up again.

"Fortunately Willow has filled me in" he explained, fighting the urge to clean his glasses some more "It seems Buffy and William do not have the sister-brother bond that we thought"

"Oh sweetheart" Joyce sympathised with her daughter, not knowing she'd got it wrong "Did you two have a fight?"

"Quite the opposite actually" Giles pointed out with some discomfort as Buffy attempted to stop her tears "or so it would seem"

"I didn't mean to Mom" the blonde choked out "I didn't mean to love him, and last night I just...I'm so sorry" she exclaimed, before burying her head in her hands.

The looks on Giles and Willow's faces confirmed Joyce's suspicions and she hugged her daughter once again.

"Oh my baby" she sympathised, not really knowing what else to say for the best. Giles looked to his own daughter for answers.

"Where is Spike now, Willow?"

"He left" she told him "and he wasn't very happy" admitting that only made her feel like crying too. She'd stayed with Buffy because she was so upset and because she had no idea where Spike was going but by doing so she realised her brother probably thought she didn't care about him as much as she cared for Buffy. Also with the female half of all this so violently regretting the events of the night before, was sit any wonder Spike felt so hurt?

"I honestly don't know where to begin" Giles shook his head, again removing his glasses and placing them on the table where they were out of reach as he sat down in the armchair. Willow was glad that he wasn't polishing again, it was his nervous little twitch that only served to make her doubly agitated.

"I know I'm a terrible person" Buffy choked out, finding it near impossible to cry anymore, she had hardly anymore tears to give.

"Buffy, my dear" Giles sighed, leaning forward and taking her hand "it's simply not your fault, it is neither of your faults"

"Of course it's not" Joyce assured her, looking over at her husband briefly, a glance that said so much, a secret question and an answer, an agreement to tell the truth..."Sweetheart" Joyce said, turning to her daughter as Willow perched herself on the arm of her father's chair "after your father, your real father" she clarified uneasily "passed away, and Jenny too, well Rupert and I had strong feelings for each other, we'd liked each other even before our marriages, and we felt guilty when we got together" she admitted, as both Buffy and Willow's eyes glanced back and forth between their parents.

"But you were both single and free" the red-head commented "why feel so bad?"

"It felt somewhat like betraying the memories of Jenny and Hank" Giles explained to her, before turning back to Buffy "but it is impossible to control who you fall in love with" he assured her, thought she still didn't look convinced "Buffy, we have brought up yourself and Willow as sisters because your mother and I love each other very much and needed each others support. By default, William was talked about as your brother. But if you feel this strongly for him, there is nothing wrong with that" he promised, finding his daughter's distress had actually served to make him see things more clearly "He is not your brother not in a real blood sense"

"But you're my Dad" the blonde sniffed "I don't want that to change"

"It doesn't have to, baby" Joyce tried to smile, hoping her daughter would do the same, but to no avail.

"But it will" Buffy yelled, getting to her feet "it'll never be the same! I've ruined it all!" she screamed, before bolting for the stairs and tearing up them. She didn't stop when she reached her room, just flung open the door and ran inside, slamming it behind her and collapsing onto her bed - the bed she'd shared with Spike.

Downstairs she vaguely heard Willow call her name, hoping her parents would understand and let her be alone. She was glad when no-one followed her, but truthfully she didn't want to be alone. She wanted Spike here with her. She wanted to go back to a couple of hours ago, beneath the covers of this very bed, wrapped up in his arms, all warm and safe and in love. Now she felt wretched and dirty and like she'd done something terrible, despite the fact that even her parents assured her she hadn't.

Silently she cried all over again, burying her face in sheets that smelt of his aftershave and memories that, in spite of her own good sense, she never wanted to forget. It was as her face shifted, something on the floor caught her eye. Leaning over the side of the bed she picked up the silver object, half hidden from view til now - Spike's watch.

He'd told her once how his grandparents had bought him it for his eighteenth birthday and he still wore it now. They'd meant such a great deal to him, is whole life back in England that Buffy knew little about. It got her thinking. When he'd left on that plane at the age of five, he'd been no more her brother than anyone else, now he was back and she was beating herself up for loving him, but why? Surely there was a way around this there had to be...

An hour more of deep thought and Buffy had quite decided to pull herself together and make the difficult decisions she had to make. Her parents and her sister seemed not in the least disgusted by her 'relationship' with Spike and really, why should they? She wanted him and loved him so much, there was no way she was ever going to be able to bury her feelings. She had to tell him, had to apologise for hurting him, but first she had to find him.

In a matter of moments she was up and dressed, deciding that first she would find Spike and apologise, then she'd worry about everything else. Stuffing his watch into her pocket, she slipped into the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her hair and applied a little make-up before bolting down the stairs almost as fast as she'd gone up them. As she reached the bottom, her father was there, opening the front door to a visitor that she hadn't even heard knock, obviously too caught up in her own thoughts.

"I'm looking for Mr Rupert Giles?" said an official looking man on the other side.

"That would be me. Is something wrong?" Giles frowned as the man produced a badge and explained he was a police officer.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident, sir" the officer said as gently as he could "A bus came off the road and crashed. Your son William was aboard"

"Oh God, no!" I gasp in shock as my knees give out right at the foot of the stairs. I didn't know I had any tears left to cry but here they are as the guilt knocks me sideways. Spike could be dead, and it's all my fault.

__

To Be Continued...


	21. Holding On To Love

****

A/N : So, I guess you guys weren't expecting that little plot twist, huh? I have to admit this fic has kinda run away from me. In the original idea there was no sex and definitely no injured Spikey but what can I say my imagination just goes crazy sometimes! Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter; SweetBitter, uandme4eternity, Rachel, Spikesgirl2626, aphelant, Leanne8582, SouthernRain, Courtney37 . And yes, I know Joyce and Giles were very understanding about their kids getting it on, but I figure they love them so much they would try to understand, plus they got together in dodgy circumstances too. Anyway, here's the new chapter...

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 21 - Holding On To Love

We're in the car on the way to the hospital. Spike isn't dead, just injured. The police officer couldn't tell us how badly, just that he was unconscious after the crash and that he'd been rushed to Sunnydale General along with several other victims. I hate that word - victim. He was a victim before he even boarded that bus, he suffered inside because of me. I can't believe the way I acted, I was so selfish and if this bus crash had been worse, I might never have got the chance to make things right. I only hope it's not too late...

Joyce drove her family towards the hospital, her husband beside her, too shocked and upset to say a word nevermind drive a car. In the back Willow cried and Buffy stared straight ahead, eyes unseeing and her mind in over-drive after the many events of the past twenty-four hours.

"We're here" Joyce announced as she pulled up in the parking lot and unbuckled her seatbelt. Giles was out of the car in seconds, not waiting for his family as he rushed into the hospital. Willow climbed out of the back seat, still sniffling as Joyce helped the stunned Buffy out of the other side.

A nurse was just showing Giles the way to his son's room when the three females entered the building and they all followed down the corridors to the place where Spike lay.

"Oh my God" Buffy gasped, fresh tears falling from her eyes as she saw him through the perspex window, almost motionless save for his chest rising and falling with every breath. If not for that, he might have appeared dead.

"What happened exactly?" Joyce asked the nurse as her husband and daughters stared helplessly at the injured young man, "The police didn't tell us much"

"Witnesses say the driver of the bus lost control" the woman bearing name tag saying she was Nurse Claire Stanmore told Mrs Giles, "it was actually through no fault of his own, he had a heart-attack you see. Anyway, many passengers were bumped around inside the bus as it swerved and crashed, young William here was thrown out of his seat and struck his head"

"He'll be okay, won't he?" Willow asked with a shaky voice. Nurse Claire smiled slightly as she replied.

"We hope so sweetheart" she said kindly, "the doctors rushed him straight in for a brain scan and as far as we can tell there's no major damage, of course it's impossible to be absolutely sure until he wakes up"

"When will that be?" Giles asked in monotone, eyes fixed on his son always.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that" Claire sympathised with the poor families of so many of the patients she cared for. She would love to tell them all that she could fix their sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, but the reality was she couldn't. Sometimes there was bad news to be imparted. It was her that had to tell a young man and woman that their father, the driver of the bus, was not only dead, but that his death triggered other fatalities and injuries too.

Now she stood watching four people as their very hearts broke at the idea of losing a treasured member of their family. She had no idea that Buffy felt ten times worse than most people ever could, because she was blaming herself for this.

"You can sit with him if you want to, though it's one at a time I'm afraid" Claire told them and Giles nodded silently as he made for the door to the room, letting himself in and moving to sit with his only son, a boy he should have treated so much better than he had...

Buffy, Willow, and Joyce watched through the screen as Giles openly cried into Spike's arm. The young man's injuries were not half so bad as one might expect. A bandage was tied around his head with much cotton padding above his left eye, presumably at the point where he'd been struck during the crash. Cuts and bruises were the only other injuries he had, no broken limbs or anything. But he was so deathly pale and still, it was absolutely petrifying to watch him breathe, wondering if this intake of air might be the last, since there was no other sign of life at all.

* * * * *

An hour passed, Giles finally left his son's side at Joyce's request. She knew how much the girls wanted to be closer to Spike. Knowing there was nothing he could do and thinking for a moment about his daughters instead of himself and his boy, Giles allowed his wife to manoeuvre him out of the room.

"One of you girls should go in now" Joyce told Willow and Buffy a they sat on chairs outside the room, "I'm going to take your father to get a cup of coffee" she explained as she led the emotionally drained man away.

"You go" Buffy said softly to her sister.

"It should be you" the red-head replied, not only for Buffy's sake but also for her own. She was so afraid of what could happen, she thought perhaps if she just sat here perfectly still, willing Spike to wake up he might. If she got up and went closer to him, she might break the spell.

"You're his sister, Will" the blonde sniffed, putting a hand on Willows and looking over at her until she looked up, "You should see him first. Besides I need another minute before I...I can't yet" she finished uneasily, retracting her hand and watching her fingers as they laced together in her lap.

Silently Willow nodded and went into the room to sit by her brother. She didn't want to argue with Buffy, she just couldn't, not right now. She cared so much for her 'sister' and she'd come to love Spike in such a short time. It confused her that they didn't feel the same sibling type affection for each other, but she couldn't deny that it was real. She would not judge them, only love them, and hope that they could get past all their problems and be happy. Of course, before any of that happened, Spike had to wake up.

"Hey Spike" Willow whispered to her unconscious brother, picking up his large hand in both her small ones, "I don't know if you can hear me...I don't even know what to say if you can, except I love you and, and I'm sorry..." here she stopped as tears ran down her cheeks and emotion stole her voice for a few moments, "If I'd have run after you instead of staying with Buffy..." she began again, "you might not have been on that bus and...well, I just want you to be okay" she told him, trying to be strong as she knew she would want him to.

They'd got to know each other so well these past few days. Less than two weeks, and maybe it was because they were blood brother and sister but Willow felt she knew Spike inside-out and was sure he'd say the same of her.

"I want you to know" she said after a few moments of silence, "that what you and Buffy feel and what you did, it's okay y'know" she assured the man that could not answer her, that might not even have heard her at all, "she feels so bad, she doesn't want to hurt anyone, I know you don't either...please Spike just wake up" she ended in tears, her strength all fading as she willed him to move or speak or just open his eyes. Of course, he remained still and oblivious.

Outside, Buffy stood by the window again looking in at her sister and a man that should have been her brother. But he wasn't her brother and he never could be. She loved him, was in love with him and all she wanted to do was tell him, show him. She wanted to apologise for behaving the way she had this morning. The moment for that apology was now, as Willow rose from the seat by the bed and came back to the door where Buffy waited.

"I don't know if he can hear us" the red-head sniffed, holding the door open for her sister to go through, "but I know you have stuff to say, so go on" she urged. Buffy hugged the girl that would always be her sister, no matter what happened, silently thanking her both for understanding and for giving her this opportunity to explain to Spike all that she felt, even if it was kind of pointless, he probably wouldn't hear a word.

Sitting down beside him, Buffy forced back further tears that wanted to fall. She knew if she started crying again she'd never stop and she needed to say these things to him, even if he wouldn't know when he woke up that she'd spoken at all.

"Spike, it's me, Buffy" she said softly, holding onto his hand much like Willow had done, "Mom and Dad and Willow, they all know about us, about what happened last night. I'm so sorry that I reacted badly but I was scared...not scared of you, but of what I felt for you. Mostly it was because I never expected to love you this way. I mean, I loved you before you even arrived here, I thought I'd always love you just like I love Willow, as my brother like she was my sister, even if it would never be by blood. When I saw you, everything changed. It's not just physical, it's everything, you drew me in and I didn't know how to stop it. I fought it for a while there but I knew in my heart I would break eventually. Last night you made me feel things I never knew were possible, and waking up in your arms was the best thing in the world...I'm so sorry that I spoilt it all, but I want you to know that I've learnt my lesson, and things are going to be different. We can be together for real, if you still want to..." by now the tears were running freely down her cheeks again as she waited for him to answer her, something she knew was not going to happen. At a loss to know what else to say or do, her head fell into her arms on the edge of the bed as she cried all over the man she loved.

* * * *

There was a key in the lock and the door swung open to reveal him standing there. She stood before him, tear stains on her face, but a smile on her lips.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered and he winced as he saw more salt-water roll from her eyes.

"Come here" he whispered back, opening his arms to her, which she willingly ran into. Holding each other close, it was the only place they wanted to be.

"I love you" she told him sincerely, "and I really am so sorry"

He pulled away enough to see her face, but she looked down. Lifting her chin with his fingers, he smiled as he moved to wipe away her tears.

"I love you too" he told her, "and you've apologised enough now. I don't want you to be sorry, I just want you to be happy"

"I am" she nodded, "Now you're here, I am definitely happy"

He lowered his head to kiss her then, and just as their lips met...

"Buffy!" a voice shattered the illusion of her dream as a hand gently rocked her shoulder. Blinking hard to clear her vision, the young blonde saw her mother standing over her, vaguely heard her say something about falling asleep and how Giles and Willow wanted their turn to see Spike again.

Looking over at his still form, Buffy realised sadly that it had all been a dream...

For a few seconds I really thought it hadn't happened. The bus crash and everything, there in my subconscious it had never occurred. Spike had come straight back to me and forgiven me and everything had been perfect. But it wasn't real, and in reality I still feel this terrible guilt that will not lift until he wakes and tells me it's all okay, which I'm praying to God he will very soon. And now I'm standing here, watching through the screen as the man I call my father cries over his son that he feels so guilty about. There's been too much guilt and pain in our family, in one way or another. It stops here. Not _if_ Spike wakes up, but _when_ he does, I'm going to make my apologies all over again and hope that he'll forgive me. I'm holding onto that dream of mine, because we were so happy there, and we will be again soon, all of us, we just have to be...

__

To Be Continued...

[**_Edited to add_ : There is a poll at my fic archive 'Sparkling Eternity' so you guys can help me choose which Spuffy fic I should write next out of the five ideas I have! URL is on my profile page]**


	22. Awakening

****

A/N : Hey kiddies! Sorry if that sounds patronising, some of you are probably older than me! But it's my birthday today and I'm officially no longer a teen so I feel old, lol. Also I didn't get what I really wanted...Mum says the store was all out of Spike-bots! ;-) Anyway, onto the important stuff, I managed to finish the next chapter of this fic! Thanx to SweetBitter, Rachel, nightash, and SouthernRain for the reviews. Not much of this fic left to go but when it's finished there will be more Spuffy! Not that I know which of many ideas I will expand on yet but hey, thats what the poll on my site is for! (if you have no idea what I'm talking about - take a look at my profile page) Please remember that reviews are always gratefully received... ;-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 22 : Awakening

It's been almost twenty-four hours since we arrived here at the hospital. We have taken turns to sit with Spike, though Mom and I have let Dad and Willow have the most time with him. Mom loves him, of course she does, but she knows she's not really related to him and she accepts it. It took me a long time, but now I understand too. The only way I want Spike in my life is as my boyfriend and my lover. I had a brother once, I don't have him anymore. I could cry for his loss, but he was just a figment of my imagination. Now I have the chance to be with the man I know I will be in love with forever, at least I will have that chance, when he wakes up...

"You okay sweetie?" Joyce asked her daughter as she returned from the payphone. She'd been calling the school to let them know why Willow and Buffy will be absent for a few days.

"I don't know" Buffy shook her head sadly, "I just can't believe all that's happened"

"He will wake up Buffy" her mother assured her, placing a hand on her shoulder as they both looked at Spike and Giles through the perspex screen. Willow had gone to the ladies room and for the first time mother and daughter were alone together.

"I love him, Mom" the young blonde said, turning to look at Joyce, "I've never felt anything like this before, and it hurts so much because I know he's hurting"

Joyce looked pained for her daughters sake as she pulled the girl into a hug.

"Love does hurt, sweetheart" she told her, "but it can also be a wonderful thing when you find the right person"

Buffy pulled away from her mother and wiped the fresh tears from her cheeks.

"You really do understand, don't you?" she checked, "About me and Spike, I mean"

"Well, it's not what we expected to happen" she admitted, "but if you love each other, Buffy, nothing is stronger than that. We only want you to be happy, you and Spike and Willow too"

With a watery smile Buffy hugged her mother again.

"I love you Mom" she said solemnly and Joyce found she was almost in tears herself as she answered in kind.

Willow then returned at the very same moment Giles emerged from his son's room. Joyce suggested that they all get something to eat as they hadn't had much since they'd arrived at the hospital a whole day ago. Buffy begged to be allowed to sit with Spike while everyone else ate and it didn't take much effort to get her family to agree. Everyone was far too tired and emotional to be bickering over who gets to sit by the bed of their comatose loved one next.

"Hey Spike" Buffy tried to smile as she came to sit beside his bed on a chair that had been well used these past hours, "It's me again, Buffy" she told him as she picked up his hand in hers, "Everyone else has gone to find food, but I wanted some more time with you...I keep going over everything in my head, how I used to imagine having a brother, the complete non-sisterly feelings I had when I met you, all that's happened between us...I've never felt like this about anyone, and I felt so dirty and wrong for wanting you the way I did, but I see you were right, and it's not wrong. There's nothing shameful about us being in love, and I am in love with you Spike, I wish I would have just admitted it sooner. Everyone knows now, well not everyone, but Mom and Dad and Willow. They understand it all, just like you did. I guess I was just being kinda stupid before, but it was so weird, and I never expected it to happen...I'm just rambling and repeating myself now, aren't I? And asking you questions is kinda pointless since I know you won't answer...The couple of times I've managed to fall asleep, I've dreamt about you. I know if you were awake you'd be being all big-headed and suggestive smirk right now, but they weren't those kind of dreams. We're just there together and you're holding me and the whole world is perfect, just because I'm in your arms, and I know it sounds silly, but it's what I'm hanging onto Spike. I need you to wake up and forgive me and love me the way only you can"

Throughout her whole little speech, Buffy had been getting closer and closer to tears and again the salt water flowed down her cheeks as she had no more words to say. She'd told him everything that mattered, now all she wanted was for him to answer her, and right now that was impossible.

* * * * *

Joyce had left Willow and Giles in the cafeteria and come back to fetch her purse that she'd left under the chair outside Spike's room. She was relieved to see it was still there, but less happy when she saw her little girl, crying into the sheets of the bed where Spike lay, still and quiet and unmoving as ever. It pained her to see her child so distraught. She knew all too well what it was like to lose the one you loved, but in some ways she'd had it easier. It was sudden, no agony of waiting and wondering, plus she'd had Giles to lean on. The doctors said Spike had a good chance of waking up very soon and probably without long-term damage to his brain, but there was that awful chance they might lose him, either physically or mentally, and Joyce hated to think of it. Giles and Willow would be devastated, but it would hit Buffy differently. She'd said she loved Riley, but this was different, this time she'd really fallen and Joyce had to push back a flood of tears as she made her way back to the cafeteria. The thought of her baby being in that much pain was almost too much to bear.

* * * * *

Constant crying will sap the energy from a person in no time at all, as Buffy had realised these past hours. Again she fell asleep with her head on Spike's arm, and again she dreamt of him as she told him she did. There they were, locked in each others embrace, so safe and protected from the world, Buffy knew it was the only place she would ever want to be. The feel of his arm around her back holding her close to his body, whilst his other hand stroked her hair and comforted her.

"Buffy?" she heard him softly say, and tried to move her head to see his face, but she couldn't.

"Buffy?" she heard again, as the hand behind her head dropped to her shoulder and jostled her slightly. As she tried to move her head again, her eyes flew open and she sat up fast. The dream had been broken like the one before, but no-one was in the room with her to be saying her name and shaking her, not unless...

"Spike!" she gasped as she realised his eyes were open and he was looking at her with a slightly puzzled expression, "Oh my God" she laughed and cried at the same time as she flung herself across his body and hugged him awkwardly.

"Nice to see you too, pet" he smiled slightly, "Now do you wanna tell me what the bloody hell is going on?"

"I love you Spike, and I'm so sorry" she began to ramble as she sat upright on the edge of his bed and started to explain, "I didn't mean to upset you and then this happened and I wanted to tell you and I couldn't and..."

"Hey, slow down" he begged her, blinking hard to try to bring her into focus and clear his head at the same time. It felt as if someone had smacked him round the head with a large heavy object, and several times too, "Now start again, would you luv" he asked her, "and tell a fella where he is and why?"

"You're in the hospital Spike" she said slowly as she could, "you were on a bus and the driver had a heart attack. It crashed and you hit your head and we were all so worried about you" she explained, still smiling despite the awful information she was imparting, she was just so pleased to have him awake.

"What was I doing on a bus?" he asked, looking so completely lost, "I don't remember" he admitted with a slight shake of his aching head, before Buffy had a chance to argue he continued, "The last thing I remember is being in bed...and you were there" he smiled and Buffy blushed a little. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again when he asked, "Did the book help?"

Her brow creased as she tried to figure out what he meant by that.

"What book?" she asked in complete confusion.

"The book you fetched last night, when I was in bed" he explained as if it were obvious, "Did it help you to sleep?"

Buffy's eyes spilled over with tears once again and she had to swallow hard before she could open her mouth and speak.

"That's the very last thing you remember?" she checked, hoping he was joking, or mistaken or something, anything! He had to remember what they meant to each other, what they'd done...

"Yes, luv, 'fraid so" he shrugged slightly, "Am I missing much?"

With a non-committal shake of her head, Buffy leapt up from the bed and made for the door, desperate to hold in the terrible sobs that wanted to escape her.

"I should fetch the doctor" she managed to choke out just before she left the room, the terrible agony of what she'd just experienced making her feel physically sick as she sunk to her knees in the corridor and cried like she'd never stop.

He's lost almost two weeks from his memory, two weeks that have probably been the most significant in my life! I thought it was terrible not knowing if he was going to wake up or if he might not forgive me when he did, but this is worse. Having him here and yet not, because he has no idea what has happened between us. As far as his mind is concerned, we haven't even kissed. A nasty part of my mind tells me that he is subconsciously so disgusted by what he has done with me that he's blocked it out, or maybe he doesn't have amnesia at all and he's just pretending to have forgotten because he regrets it all. Whatever the reason, all I know for sure is that I expected Spike's awakening to be one of the best moments of my life and it has turned into the worst...

__

To Be Continued...


	23. So Close & Yet So Far

****

A/N : This fic is a bit of a rollercoaster for your emotions, huh? Well the end is near...and I did say near, not here! Another chapter and an epilogue after this, which I should have ready to post in a few days. As soon as I've posted that the poll at my site will close since I'll be starting serious work on a new fic. At the moment it's looking like Life's Full Of Surprises will get written next. You wanted something different? Go vote! lol. I was gonna say hope you like this new chapter, but maybe 'like' is the wrong word...oh well, review please! And thanks to SweetBitter, Leanne8582, SpIkEs AnGeL, Haras, SouthernRain, aphelant for the reviews and the birthday wishes :-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 23 - So Close & Yet So Far

I've been trying to work it all out in my mind, how I'm ever supposed to cope with Spike not remembering all that has happened between us. I keep thinking this must all just be a nightmare and soon I'll wake up in my bed with his arms around me, just like it was three days ago, but no nightmare could ever hurt like this. Only reality could be so cruel. I've been avoiding him, and I know he probably doesn't even notice. I've made every excuse I can think of not to go back into that room since I ran out hours ago. I don't know whether I want him to miss that I'm not there or not. I just wish I knew what was going on in his head right now...

Spike was confused. When he'd woken and seen Buffy sitting beside him he was a little bewildered and things only got worse when she told him he'd been in an accident and was now in hospital. The worst part though was when she ran from the room, apparently in tears, and for reasons he could not figure out at all.

Not long after that, a doctor had come to see him, and his father and Willow and Joyce soon followed. Dr Harman explained, after a few questions and tests, that it seemed he was suffering from slight memory loss. 

"So, how much have I lost?" he'd asked and the whole family awaited the doctors response.

"About two weeks or so it would seem from the date you gave me of your last memory" he explained, "but it's completely possible that it'll all come back to you given time"

"How much time?" Willow frowned, all the time she'd spent getting to know her brother and he couldn't remember the majority of it, she really wanted him to and as soon as possible.

"It's hard to say" Dr Harman sighed, "Sometimes patients have woken up one morning and all the memories are just back, sometimes simple things can spark off a memory and over a period of time it all comes back, on occasion a second blow to the head has immediately returned all the lost information, though naturally we don't advise you go banging your head on a wall just based on that theory" he smiled at Spike who rolled his eyes. As if he would be that stupid!

A few moments later, the doctor had left the room and Spike had been hugged three times over by his father, sister and step-mother, being constantly told how worried they'd been about him and how glad they were that he was awake again. There was just a brief mention of his memory-loss, it seemed to Spike that it was trying to be ignored though he couldn't understand why. His father in particular seemed very reluctant to give him any information about the time he'd lost from his mind.

Spike lay alone in his room now, staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to figure out what could be so bad that he couldn't be told about it. At the same time he wondered about Buffy. When he'd woken up and she'd been there, she seemed so happy to have him awake and everything, but the fact he'd lost his memory seemed to bother her much more than it did the others. Also, she hadn't been to see him since and no-one even seemed to mention her.

Something had clearly happened in the past two weeks that involved himself and her, something they were not telling him but no matter how hard he tried he just could not access the information.

'Let's start from the beginning' he told himself, replaying in his mind all the events he remembered since he arrived in the good old US of A. He'd arrived at LAX, bussed it to Sunnydale and walked down to Revello Drive. He'd met Willow and a disturbingly drunk but devastatingly attractive Buffy, then there'd been his father and Joyce and a very serious chat following the initial reunion.

Spike had crashed on the sofa for the night and then spent the next day getting to know his sister and Buffy, who he had immediately realised could not be a sister to him. He liked her too much and definitely not in a brother-sister affection kind of a way. 

That night when she'd come into the room, barely dressed since she'd got straight out of bed, to come and find a book from the cabinet, he felt a little weird about the way she made him feel. He had been brought up away from his father but his grandparents had always talked of Willow and Buffy both as his sisters.

All thoughts of her being his sibling had flown out the window when he first saw her, and that night when she'd crept into the room, her half-naked self not so far from his, he knew then this was something else. He wanted her, physically, romantically, in every way he just wanted to be closer to her.

It was so strange to think that they might have gotten closer these past two weeks and that he wouldn't even know, but with her avoiding him the way she had been he suspected that perhaps they were the opposite of good friends, she couldn't like him all that much after all, but he'd thought that she had before...

"Hey" a voice said from the door and Spike realised Willow was back in the room.

"Hey yourself" he smiled as she came forward and sat down beside his bed.

"How's the head?" she asked and he shrugged as he told her everything was more or less the same. He wasn't in a lot of pain, but he was being driven crazy by the not knowing.

"Can't you tell me what's been going on for the past few days?" he begged his sister, "I know the doctors have this stupid idea about letting me remember on my own, but the least you can do is give me a few clues" he implored her.

Willow shifted uncomfortably. When the doctor had said it would be best to let Spike try and regain his memory alone, the family had agreed. Buffy was devastated and Willow knew it was so hard for her, but it wasn't her decision to make.

"What kind of clues did you want?" the red-head asked her brother, avoiding answering immediately.

"I dunno" he sighed, "Have we been anywhere special that I might remember? Have I met anyone that I should remember?"

"Er, well...you met my friends" she told him with a smile, glad she'd found something else to focus on for a while, "My boyfriend Oz, and also Xander and Cordy and Buffy's boyfriend Riley, although that should be ex-boyfriend now" she amended without thinking.

"I remember him" Spike realised "that was the last day I do remember...he's her ex now?" he asked with a frown, "What happened?"

"Oh, it's a long story" Willow half-lied, hating herself for having to do so, "and she'll be okay, she's just a little upset is all"

"Is that why she hasn't been in here to see me?" he asked with a frown, studying his sisters expression, "Cos she's so upset over some bloke?"

"Yeah" Willow said honestly, "She's very upset over 'some bloke'"

* * * * *

"He asked about you" Willow told her sister when she came out of Spike's room.

Buffy looked like she might burst into tears all over again.

"But is he okay?" she asked nervously and Willow nodded slowly.

"Medical wise he's going to be fine" she assured the blonde as she sat down beside her, "Apart from losing two weeks of memory he's not in pain or anything but..."

"But?" Buffy frowned a slight panic in her voice.

"He knows somethings up Buff" she told him, "He knows there's something I'm not telling him and I think he knows it has something to do with you"

"But how can he know?" Buffy shook her head as she stood and peered through the perspex screen at her step-brother turned lover.

"Maybe if you went in and talked to him it wouldn't seem so suspicious" Willow tried, knowing this was a hard situation for her sister, but also knowing her brother was getting really frustrated by the whole thing. It was a huge mess that the red-head wished she could help to solve, but she couldn't. 

After Spike woke up she'd immediately called Oz and he'd been so great, offering to come to the hospital to be with her. She declined but really appreciated the offer and they shared I love you's before hanging up. Willow wanted that for Buffy and Spike, a perfect relationship where all that matters is how much you love each other, but with her brother not even remembering how much he loved Buffy, could there be a happy ending? Willow crossed her fingers as her best friend, and the girl she would always see as her sister, took a deep breath and went into Spike's room.

"Hi" the blonde said nervously from the doorway and Spike smiled widely when he saw her there.

"Hello, luv" he replied as she came across the room to sit by him, much as Willow had done. Being so close to him, not able to be how she wanted to be with him was killing her, but she'd promised the doctors, just as the rest of the family had, that she wouldn't tell Spike about the memories he'd lost.

"How're you feeling?" she asked him, trying not to look him in the eye. The intensity and blue-ness of them would be the undoing of her, she was sure.

"Not so bad" he told her, still wishing he knew why she was being so weird around him, "Doctor tells me I should be able to come home tomorrow"

"That's great" Buffy smiled, though her heart wasn't in it. It was bad enough dealing with all this at the hospital, when they got home it would only get worse, trying to sleep knowing he was in the next room, trying to exist with him in such close proximity and not able to say a word about all that had happened between them.

"You okay, pet?" Spike frowned, reaching for her hand, not knowing what he was doing to her by being so friendly. Still she allowed him to hold her hand and she forced a smile onto her lips.

"Just a little tired, and worried about you is all" she half-lied, but he seemed to accept her answer for now at least. Buffy knew deep inside her that she'd never be able to keep this up once Spike came home. Sooner or later the truth was going to come out and given his lack of memory, that was both a wonderful and yet a terryifing thing.

I keep thinking maybe I should just come out and say it. I know it's breaking a promise but when he took hold of my hand and he looked at me that way, it was just like that morning when we woke up together. It's like he loves me the way he did before and I really want to tell him I love him too, but that would take explanation of the past two weeks and I did say that I wouldn't do that. I only hope that coming home will jog Spike's memory so that all this pain can be over and we can be together. If he never remembers, as the doctors said might be possible, I don't know how I'm going to survive this...

__

To Be Continued...


	24. I Will Remember You

****

A/N : This fic has finally come to an end - here is the last chapter and the epilogue. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this fic, not just the previous chapter but all or any of the chapters right through. You guys leave this great little messages encouraging me to write these stories and for that I am grateful to you all. Thanks also to everyone who voted in the poll on my site. Details on my next fic will be at the end of this one. Happy reading, and please leave a final review cos I'd love to hear your opinions on the ending! :-)

__

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 24 : I Will Remember You

It's been two days since Spike was released from the hospital. I hate the fact that I have been avoiding him but I don't know what else to do. It seems that he still doesn't remember those two weeks that should mean so much. Our parents and Willow have been basically re-telling him everything he's missed, conveniently missing out the relationship he and I had. It's all so painful, especially sometimes when he looks at me and I think he's just going to say it, say 'I remember and I love you' but he never does and sometimes I think he never ever will. The clock says 8.30am on a Sunday so I don't have to get up for hours, but I know I will, because there's no way I can sleep with Spike in the next room. I've barely slept since he came home and thankfully I haven't had to go to school. It was Friday when he came home and there was no way Willow or I were going to not be here for that. I guess I'll have to go Monday. I think maybe that'll be a good thing since I'll have more chances to avoid Spike. I guess I will get up now, and face another day of the same, but I really don't know how much more of this I can take...

****

Spike's arm was around Buffy's shoulders as they sat on the back porch steps together and she smiled wiping tears from her eyes as she told him he was sweet. He playfully threatened punishment if she ever told anyone else that. She asked what he could ever do to her and thats when he did it, leaned forward and kissed her, wanting her so much...the scene dissolved to a club, dark beneath the balcony with loud pulsating music all around, as the kissing continued, growing more and more heated...again the picture shifted and Spike lowered Buffy onto a bed, kissing, touching, feeling things he'd never felt before as time ticked past and the world melted away so that all that was left was him and her and the feeling of pure ecstasy as they came together as one...

Spike sat bolt up-right in bed, breathing heavily and eyes wide. What he'd just witnessed had all been a dream, that much was obvious to him from the fact he was in bed alone and also that the events had been so muddled, but the feelings, they seemed to be so real. He wanted an explanation for all that had happened in his mind while he slept. The only person who might be able to explain was Buffy, and given her reluctance to be around him lately, maybe there really was something to that dream of his. When he'd calmed down, he decided, it was time to get up and confront his step-sister about what seemed to have happened between them.

She'd spent two days seemingly avoiding him, and as the rest of the family had explained to him all that he'd forgotten she was barely even mentioned. He'd tried to get her on her own to ask her about it all but he hadn't had the oppurtunity. Today he would make sure he got his answers, before he went completely crazy from speculation.

* * * * *

Buffy was alone in the kitchen making some toast for herself and worrying about the fact she was alone in the house with Spike. Her mother had gone to the gallery to set up for an exhibition and Giles had gone with her to help with the heavy lifting. Willow had spent the night with Oz and so that left just the young blonde, and her step-brother who was asleep upstairs. At least, he was asleep before, now he was standing right behind her.

"Buffy" his voice suddenly in the room made her almost physically jump out of her skin, "There's something I need to talk to you about..." Spike told her as she turned around to face him.

"What is it?" she asked nervously, turning back to the counter top and concentrating on buttering her toast.

"I had a dream" he explained "It was intense, like it was real, and I think it felt that way because it was real"

"What do you mean?" Buffy frowned, glancing back at him as he paced the room, also frowning.

"I think it was memories trying to get through Buffy" he said, finally coming to a halt just inches from her "memories of me and you" he added uncertainly and Buffy found it so hard not to grab him and hold him and kiss him, but she forced back her feelings for a while longer, she had to make sure he meant what she hoped before she did anything stupid.

"What kind of memories?" she asked with a shake in her voice.

"Well..." Spike looked thoughtful, as he wondered how best to put what he had to say "and don't slap me round the face if I'm wrong cos I'm kinda going out on a limb here" he told her and watched as she put her hands behind her back and clasped them together there.

"I won't hit you" she promised solemnly and he nodded as he began to explain.

"Well, first there was kissing, on some steps, maybe the porch, and then again somewhere dark, with music, after that it got a little more..." he was afraid of saying this part in case she was disgusted or laughed at him or broke that promise she made and hit him "well, it got physical I s'pose you could say..." he trailed off as he noticed tears forming in Buffy's eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about" he guessed and she nodded making the water from her eyes roll down her cheeks.

"I do" she admitted, almost laughing, "I wish you remembered everything but at least the important stuff is coming back" she stepped toward him and put a hand to his face, "I guess now I get to say what I've wanted to since you first woke up. I love you Spike, so much that it's killing me"

"And I love you too" he promised her as he moved to wipe her tears away, "I know that much is true, and I think I said it before but I can't even remember that" he shook his head frustratedley but Buffy told him it was okay.

"You've said it now, that's all that matters" she assured him, "And maybe the rest of your memories will come back in time"

"I don't even fully remember what it was like to kiss you" he whispered, their faces just inches apart.

"Then maybe we should make you some new memories" she said just as softly as they both leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

To Spike the sensation was only slightly familiar but definitely mind-blowing as he kissed her like he never wanted to stop. Buffy was in heaven all over again, being able to be so close to him like she'd dreamt of every time her eyes had closed. This was reality now, and it was even better than the dreams.

* * * * *

Things needed to be put right, Riley knew that for sure. When he'd found Buffy and Spike in bed together he'd been so disgusted and terribly hurt, but afterwards his anger shifted and landed solely on the other man. How could he blame his girlfriend for her so-called brother taking advantage of her? He knew it was the only explanation. He and Buffy had been dating for months and because Buffy had said she wasn't ready he'd been a gentleman about it and not rushed her when it came to the physical side of things. Spike had only been in the country for just over two weeks and suddenly Buffy's innocence had been lost. The bleached blond had to be to blame.

The young Mr Finn was out for revenge on Spike. He'd heard about the bus crash from Oz since Willow had told her boyfriend everything and he'd passed on the info to their group of friends. He'd waited til he knew he was out of hospital but now justice would be done. No-one was going to use Buffy like that, or make a fool out of him.

Getting no answer at the front door, Riley went round to the back of the house. The sight that met his eyes as he peered through the glass pane of the back door put his anger into overload.

Both Buffy and Spike were oblivious to their audience as they revelled in the feeling of holding and kissing each other. The first thing they knew of Riley's arrival was when the door flew open and the younger man's fist connected with Spike's chin as he turned to see what was happening. The punch knocked the bleached blond against the counter and Buffy screamed.

"What the bloody hell are you on mate?!" Spike yelled as he stood up straight to face Riley, still clutching his head that began to throb like crazy.

"You're disgusting" the younger man sneered, "Taking advantage of Buffy like this and when you're supposed to be her brother too"

"Riley that's enough!" Buffy yelled, rushing to Spike's side as he gripped his head and staggered back. He'd been hit before and by bigger men than Riley bleedin' Finn, and he'd not even flinched, but this slight knock to his jaw had made his entire head spin. Buffy settled him on a stool by the counter before whipping around to face her ex-boyfriend, eyes flashing thunder.

"Let's get a couple of things straight Riley" she said angrily, "First of all, Spike is not my brother. My parents and his parents are completely different people. Second, despite what I might have said afterwards, I stopped being your girlfriend the day you decided that feeling up Faith Wilkins was a good plan. And last but by no means least, I willingly went into Spike's bed that night, and I'd do it again, because I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and he loves me too"

"You two are freaks" Riley said bitterly, realising he was fighting a losing battle.

Buffy was about to answer when suddenly he was reeling backwards clutching a bloody nose.

"You say what you like about me" Spike said nastily, still gripping his head and having to lean against the counter so he didn't fall down, "But you keep your gob shut about this lady" he said, as Buffy put an arm around him. 

Riley left without a word and Buffy couldn't help but cry. All the emotion, all the pain and fighting, would it never end?

"It's okay sweetheart" Spike held her close and stroked her hair as she sobbed, "It's all over now" he blinked hard and breathed deeply as he tried to clear the strange feeling in his head, the pain subsiding and a strange fog taking it's place. After a few minutes, just standing there holding his girl, that fog started to lift...

"Buffy" he said slowly and she looked up into his eyes, "You were crying because your bloke kissed some slut at the Bronze, and I followed you home...we kissed on the back porch and then you went all weird on me. I yelled when you had a date with that wanker again and then I followed you to the club and there was some crazy girl there...you were jealous and you kissed me...when we got home, that night, I made love to you...and in the morning..."

"Sshh" Buffy smiled as she brought her finger to his lips, "That part you can forget" she told him, "it should never have happened, the morning I mean. I was an idiot and you ended up so hurt...I'm so sorry for that"

"That doesn't matter now" he assured her, taking her fingers away from his face with his own hand, "all that matters is I remember, and I love you so much"

Buffy smiled more genuinely then than she had in weeks.

"I love you too" she told him sincerely, right before he kissed her again.

You have no idea how good I feel right now. The only place I ever want to be is here, in Spike's arms, whilst he kisses me like this forever. I know the magic will break soon, our parents will come home and we'll have to face the reality that they are not all one hundred percent comfortable with what Spike and I feel for each other, I know that depsite what thet tell me. But I know they will learn to accept it in time, just as everyone else will. Something that feels this right cannot be wrong. I don't have a care in the world right now, and that is a great way to feel.

__

Almost, ~The End~ _but there is still an epilogue..._


	25. Epilogue Into The Future

Chapter 25/Epilogue : Into The Future

"Thanks Will, you're a life-saver" Buffy smiled as she hugged her sister, "There's just so much to do to get this house straight"

"It's no big" the red-head shrugged, "Moving homes is always a major thing and I had nothing else to do anyway. Besides it's always fun when we get to spend time together, isn't honey?" she bent down to address the small child she had just dropped off. 

"I like it when Auntie Willow picks me up from school Mommy" Jenny nodded, "And Uncle Oz is funny" she giggled.

Buffy smiled at her daughter, before turning back to Willow and saying goodbye.

Jenny ran into the living room as soon as Willow had left, dumping her school bag and then following her mother into the kitchen where her father was half under the sink tryling to fix the plumbing.

"Hey Dad" Jenny grinned at him and he momentarily extracted himself from the cupboard to reply.

"So, how was your first day back?" Buffy asked her daughter as the seven year old struggled to pull herself up onto a stool.

"It was cool" Jenny told her as she was given a lift up onto the seat "A couple of new kids started today, I made friends with them"

"That's nice, pet" Spike smiled as he finally finished what he was doing with the pipe-work "What are their names?" he asked as he got to his feet, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Cindy and Britney" Jenny told her parents through a mouthful of cookie "they look exactly the same cos they're twin sisters, and they have the same birthday and everything"

"Well, it's good that you made two new friends" Buffy said quickly, sharing a glance with Spike. They both had a nasty feeling that...

"Mommy, how come you and Auntie Willow are sisters born on the same day but you don't look the same?"

...that the very question that Jenny just asked would be mentioned. Spike couldn't help but smile as he walked past his daughter, dropping a kiss on her head as he went, exiting the room as fast as he could.

Buffy sighed, shooting him a look as he disappeared.

She could say Willow was only her sister because of Spike, which would be half true, or she could say that not all twins are identical, which would also be accurate, 'but no' Buffy told herself 'it's only fair to tell her the real truth' she realised.

"Well, baby, it's kind of a long story..." she said, taking the stool on the opposite side of the counter and sitting down to have a long talk with her daughter, distractedly thinking to herself;

'Here we go again!'

~THE END~

********************************************************************

Coming soon to Sparkling_Eternity and Fanfiction.net......

Life's Full Of Surprises

Five years after Sunnydale was destroyed, Buffy is in England, helping to run the new Watchers Council / Slayer Training facility, and life is finally going okay. Then she receives a phone call from LA, and her whole world is turned upside down...


End file.
